It is natural for a mother to see her child cry—crying is a child’s first way of expressing emotions from the moment of birth. As children grow, they may discover that crying helps them get what they want and can influence a parent’s emotions. However, crying can sometimes develop into intense tantrums, where the child becomes extremely upset, angry, and may behave in ways that are embarrassing in public.
Educational experts agree that around the age of four, tantrums tend to increase and may become more challenging. This stage requires parents to respond wisely—without anger or negative reactions. Understanding the causes, recognizing the signs, and applying the right strategies can help manage these situations effectively.
Why Do Tantrums Increase Around Age Four?
At this age, children often expect all their needs to be met. When a request is refused, they feel confused and react with crying, screaming, or throwing themselves on the ground.
Their understanding of relationships develops—they recognize who usually agrees with them and who does not.
Their vocabulary is still limited, so they struggle to express their needs clearly and use tantrums instead.
They begin to seek independence and may resist rules and restrictions.
Tantrums can also be a sign of jealousy (for example, toward a sibling) or a way to gain attention.
Sometimes tantrums result from early parenting habits, such as always giving in to the child’s demands.
In some cases, they may be caused by boredom, hunger, or illness.
Signs of a Tantrum
Loud, intense crying that attracts attention
Kicking the floor or hitting objects
Hitting walls or even their own head (which can be dangerous)
Continuous movement and destructive behavior, such as damaging objects
Verbal aggression, including shouting or repeating inappropriate words
Physical aggression, such as biting or hitting others
3 Key Steps to Handle a Tantrum
1. Do Not Leave Your Child Crying Alone
Ignoring your child completely during a tantrum can make them feel unsafe and unsupported.
2. Stay Calm—Do Not Respond with Anger
Shouting or reacting angrily can make the situation worse and may even harm the child emotionally or physically.
3. Do Not Give In Immediately
If you quickly give your child what they want just to stop the crying, they may learn to use tantrums to get their way. Instead, offer alternatives and guide them calmly toward better choices.
General Tips for Managing Tantrums
Hug your child and provide physical comfort, if they accept it
Use a calm tone of voice and gentle body language
Never ignore your child completely—this can intensify the tantrum
Praise good behavior regularly, especially in front of others
Gently correct negative behavior without anger
Take advantage of calm moments to reinforce positive behavior
Bring toys or activities when going out to prevent boredom
Be consistent—do not change your decisions frequently
Help your child release energy through activities like running, drawing, or storytelling
By understanding the reasons behind tantrums and responding with patience and consistency, parents can help their children develop better emotional control and healthier ways to express themselves.
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