A sentence from your four-year-old child may come as a shock when they say: “I don’t like the neighbor’s son, Saeed, because his skin is different.” You may wonder what triggered such a comment, especially when your child has been attending a multicultural school since their first year, surrounded by children of different nationalities, races, and skin colors.
Racism in children is a complex phenomenon. It begins with learning biases from the surrounding environment and appears in children’s thoughts and behaviors toward others based on race or skin color. It can worsen due to ignorance or hate speech. However, it can be addressed by teaching children tolerance, encouraging interaction with diverse cultures, and—most importantly—through parents acting as role models by correcting misconceptions and providing opportunities to learn about diversity.
This is explained in detail by Dr. Mohammed bin Jarash, Emirati researcher and writer.
When Do Children Start Noticing Differences?
Children begin noticing physical differences, including skin color, as early as six months of age. After their first year, they start affirming their gender identity and dividing the world into “things for girls” and “things for boys,” which is a typical behavior during preschool years.
Studies show that by the age of five, children may display signs of racial bias, such as treating people from one racial group more positively than others. Ignoring or avoiding the topic does not protect children; instead, it leaves them vulnerable to the biases present in society. Meanwhile, children who experience racism or bullying may feel confused and distressed, which can negatively affect their long-term development and well-being.
Start With Yourself
From an educational perspective, this topic assumes you are not a racist parent and may have reached what specialists call “color blindness”—the belief that treating everyone equally eliminates discrimination. However, children cannot be raised on a color-blind approach. Silence or avoidance when they ask questions about race and skin color can actually reinforce racist thinking.
To prevent this, start with yourself:
Ask yourself: How do I think?
Are you biased? Do your thoughts influence your behavior? Are the people you interact with from diverse racial and cultural backgrounds? Even if diversity is limited in your environment, this step is essential. You are your child’s primary role model, and they learn language and attitudes from you over time.Diversify your social circle:
It is difficult to convince your child that people of different skin colors are “good” if they only see you interacting with people who look like you. Consider expanding your social network to include people from different backgrounds.Be an advocate:
Children and adolescents understand that actions speak louder than words. Do not contradict your values by behaving in biased ways, such as using nationality or race as an insult or denying services to others.
Talk to Your Children
Create open and enthusiastic conversations. Children tend to fill gaps in understanding on their own. If you do not initiate these discussions, they may form ideas about race from the outside world, which can be biased. Choose a simple event—perhaps a short YouTube video—and start a discussion around it.
Enrich Your Children’s Experiences
Expose your child to different cultures by:
Attending cultural festivals
Enrolling them in a diverse summer camp
Providing dolls with different skin tones
Using books, movies, podcasts, video games, and online content that portray all races with respect and tolerance
Even maps and educational media can help introduce diversity and acceptance.
Diversify Media at Home
Avoid limiting media to a single perspective on race and identity. Share stories that highlight people of color displaying values you want your children to develop, such as kindness, openness, and creativity.
When reading or watching TV together, point out positives:
“He is Chinese, he is Black, and he is White—look, they are all enjoying themselves together.”
Teaching Children to Confront Racism According to Age
Children Under 5 Years
At this age, children begin noticing and pointing out differences. As a parent, you have a unique opportunity to gently shape their worldview using age-appropriate language.
Crack a white egg and a brown egg and show your child that they are the same inside.
Or present two gifts: one beautifully wrapped and one in a plain, wrinkled box. Put something undesirable in the shiny box and something your child loves in the plain one. Then ask: “Can we really judge what’s inside by the outside?”
When your child asks about someone’s skin color, acknowledge differences while emphasizing what we share:
“We are all human, and we are all unique—isn’t that wonderful?”If children point at people who look different out of curiosity, avoid harsh scolding so they don’t see the topic as taboo.
Children Aged 6–11 Years
Children in this age group are more willing to talk about feelings and eager for answers. They are also exposed to more complex information.
Ask them what they hear at school, on TV, and on social media.
Discuss what they read online, one of their main sources of information. Show interest in their conversations and content.
Explore examples of racial bias in media together, such as:
“Why are some people portrayed as villains while others are not?”Speak honestly and openly. Transparent discussions about racism build trust and encourage children to share their concerns and questions with you.
Adolescents Aged 12–14 Years
At this stage, adolescents can better understand abstract concepts and express strong opinions. They may know more than you expect.
Try to understand what they know and how they feel. Keep the conversation ongoing.
Ask what they hear in the news, at school, or from friends.
Use current events as opportunities for discussion and present different perspectives to broaden their understanding.
Encourage participation in online activities related to racial and social issues, teaching them how to discuss respectfully and calmly.
Discuss historical events together—such as the end of apartheid in South Africa or the civil rights movement in the United States—to better understand the present. These movements reflect painful histories from which societies are still healing.
Understanding these experiences helps children build confidence, empathy, and openness to different perspectives—essential foundations for a more just and inclusive future.
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