In almost every home, the mother often stands at the center of the scene: organizing, cooking, monitoring homework, and solving problems before they even arise. All of this is driven by love, instinctive protection, and a natural fear that her child may suffer or fail. She appears to have everything under control!
Dr. Mohamed Hany, Professor of Mental Health, raises an important question: can this excessive love unintentionally become an obstacle to a child’s growth? Does a mother’s dominance at home prevent her child from learning to rely on themselves? This opens the door to rethinking how parents provide care, and distinguishing between healthy protection and overprotection.
The Numbers Behind the Issue
According to UNICEF, over 40% of children globally do not receive enough opportunities to develop basic life skills during early childhood, affecting their independence later in life.
Fostering independence early reduces the risk of psychological disorders in adolescence and yields both social and economic benefits in the long term.
The Conflict Between Maternal Control and Teaching Independence
In many households, especially those where the mother stays at home, she often does almost everything for her child: choosing clothes, organizing their room, preparing school bags, and sometimes resolving conflicts with friends or teachers.
While this may appear ideal and loving, it sends an unintended message: “You can’t do it yourself.”
When children link security exclusively to their mother’s presence, they start associating their ability to succeed with her involvement rather than their own capabilities. Over time, initiative and decision-making may no longer feel like their responsibility.
Excessive control—even over small details—prevents children from learning through mistakes. Learning from error is a critical life skill. Ironically, a mother who aims to protect her child from pain may also inhibit their growth. Overprotection, though well-intentioned, can restrict development of essential life skills such as independence, responsibility, and decision-making.
Negative Effects of Overdependence
Low self-confidence: Children who never complete tasks independently may feel less capable than peers and internalize the belief: “I can’t do it.”
Excessive reliance: Expecting others to do everything leads to a lifelong pattern of dependence.
Delayed social maturity: Without opportunities to handle daily challenges, children struggle to communicate, understand social boundaries, and take responsibility for their actions.
Fear of trying new things: Children accustomed to an error-free environment often avoid risks, preferring safety over exploration.
Behavioral issues: Overly dependent children may become highly sensitive to criticism, anxiously attached to parents, or indecisive—traits that can persist into adulthood.
Benefits of Teaching Self-Reliance
Supporting children to be independent does not mean neglect; it means offering guidance differently:
Building strong character: Completing tasks independently, no matter how small, boosts self-esteem and nurtures confidence.
Cognitive development: Independence teaches prioritization, problem-solving, and decision-making—skills learned best through experience rather than instruction.
Emotional resilience: Independent children learn to regulate emotions, cope with difficulties, and ask for help when needed rather than relying entirely on others.
Sense of responsibility: Recognizing their role in the home or school helps children respect themselves and others, and understand participation as contribution, not pressure.
Adaptability: Children who learn independence are more flexible, resilient, and less afraid of the unknown.
Long-Term Impact of Independence
Psychological benefits: UNICEF reports link early life skill development to lower anxiety and depression later. Independent children show greater emotional stability and better stress management, promoting mental health.
Academic benefits: Independent children manage time, tasks, and learning motivation more effectively. UNESCO highlights that non-academic skills like independence and responsibility are key predictors of academic success.
Social benefits: Independence fosters mature, respectful relationships, better integration into society, and confidence in future workplaces.
A Whisper to Mothers
You don’t need to love your children less, nor relinquish your role—but redefine it. A strong mother isn’t one who does everything for her child; she’s the one who trusts her child’s abilities and stays close to guide, not control.
Remember: independence doesn’t appear overnight. It grows day by day, through small decisions, safe spaces, and genuine trust. The greatest gift you can give may not be constant protection, but the ability to stand on their own, knowing you are there if needed.
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