Research shows that children who lose the presence of one parent at home after divorce are up to 60% more likely to experience anxiety, distraction, and difficulty concentrating compared to other children. Emotional support from the mother is the most important factor in easing the psychological impact on the child after separation.
A Mother’s Experience
A mother of a 7-year-old shared her story, emphasizing that she wasn’t a supermom but made sure to be present, listen, and provide comfort and security to her child despite the father’s absence and the negative effects on the child’s mental, academic, and social well-being.
Early Days: Sadness and Fear
- The child missed his father and asked daily when he would return.
- The mother reassured him calmly, explaining the father lived elsewhere but still loved him.
- The child showed signs of emotional distress, such as sleep disturbances and worry about being abandoned.
- The mother consistently reassured the child that the divorce was not his fault and that both parents love him.
Building Emotional Security
- The mother created a stable daily routine (wake-up, meals, school, play, study, bedtime stories).
- She made sure the child felt loved and cared for, not hiding the father’s absence but reinforcing that he is cared for.
- Positive male figures, like the child’s uncle, provided additional support and companionship.
Maintaining a Neutral Image of the Father
- The mother avoided speaking negatively about the father but also did not idealize him.
- The child expressed a balanced view, knowing his father was busy but not bad.
Academic Challenges and Recovery
- The child experienced concentration problems and distraction at school.
- The mother dedicated time daily to study with him and used playful learning methods.
- With teacher support and patience, the child improved academically and was recognized for progress.
After Three Years
- The child became more emotionally mature and aware.
- He no longer feared or resented the father’s absence.
- The mother learned how to nurture, guide, and emotionally support her child while maintaining his bond with the father.
- She balanced her role as a mother with caring for her own physical and mental health, serving as a positive role model.
Expert Insight: Divorce’s Effects on Children
- Divorce can cause sadness, anger, anxiety, and loss of security.
- Behavioral problems may include low self-esteem, social difficulties, and health issues.
- Children often blame themselves for the divorce, impacting their self-worth.
- They may struggle with friendships, experience depression, anxiety, or sleep problems.
- School performance and adjustment to new environments may suffer.
- Children might face difficulties building healthy relationships and emotional growth if feelings are not properly addressed.
How Mothers Can Support Their Children
- Encourage children to express feelings in a safe, non-judgmental environment.
- Maintain good communication with the other parent and avoid exposing children to conflicts.
- Keep a consistent routine for school and daily activities.
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