Souad, a mother of three, recounts the familiar refrain she hears whenever school holidays begin: “Mom, are we going to Grandma’s this holiday? How many days until we see her? When will we go? How many nights will we stay?” Question after question, each child phrasing it differently, echoing throughout the house. This scenario plays out in countless homes every holiday season. For many families, holidays aren’t just trips to a beach or mountain—they are moments to gather with extended family: grandmothers, uncles, aunts, and cousins, even if only for a few days or weeks.
Recent social statistics support this idea: 64% of mothers in extended families observed that having grandparents actively involved in their grandchildren’s lives, providing care and attention, contributes to reduced stress and better emotional balance for the children, while also easing the psychological burden on parents.
My Experience: Rediscovering Parenting Through Family Gatherings
In my own journey, spending time with my children and my mother added immense value. It offered me a fresh perspective on parenting through the warmth of grandmothers, aunts, and uncles, filled with beautiful everyday details. Dr. Fatima El-Shenawy, a psychiatric consultant and human development lecturer, evaluated my experience and highlighted essential educational insights.
How Grandparents Build Emotional Security in Children
Souad reflects: Have we ever considered what these family gatherings mean for children? What is the impact of spending two weeks or more in a grandmother’s or grandfather’s home on a child’s personality and social identity?
Watching my child sit in his grandmother’s lap or walk holding his grandfather’s hand, I realized he wasn’t just receiving love—he was building a unique sense of security, different from the bond he has with us, his parents. It’s a relationship not based on discipline or instruction, but on unconditional acceptance: “I love you, my grandchild, no matter what.”
Key Life Skills Children Learn Through Extended Family
Modern studies show that children who experience regular or periodic engagement with extended family—grandparents, aunts, uncles—develop greater ability to handle challenging social situations. Holidays provide extended, relaxed interaction, free from the pressures of school and daily routines.
After two weeks at my extended family’s home, I observed a remarkable change in my children. My youngest, previously quick to anger after school, became calmer and more affectionate. This emotional balance was restored gently by his grandmother, without deliberate intervention.
Memories of Clay Homes and Lantern Lights
One summer evening, my mother recounted stories from her childhood—about the clay house she grew up in and her grandfather telling tales under the lantern light. These were not just bedtime stories, but lessons in remembering and honoring roots, and instilling pride and belonging.
Listening to repeated family stories and proverbs, my children learned about simplicity, tradition, and cultural heritage. Such experiences enhanced their cognitive and language development compared to peers growing up in monocultural environments.
Even simple moments, like sharing playtime or waiting for their turn to speak, taught them patience, respect, empathy, and adaptability.
Educational Perspective
Dr. Fatima El-Shenawy notes:
Holidays with extended family serve as live training for life skills. Interaction across multiple generations and personalities provides a rich, diverse environment, enhancing adaptability and understanding.Having elders around exposes children to various forms of love and support while reducing parental stress. In many Arab communities, holiday gatherings transform intergenerational relationships into a gentle partnership in child-rearing, complementing rather than replacing parental guidance.
Despite these benefits, long-term stays with extended family can pose challenges, such as differences in habits, sleeping schedules, meals, and parenting styles. Preparing in advance, communicating across generations, and maintaining personal space (separate rooms, quiet time, respect for privacy) can reduce tension.
A New Perspective on Holidays
Why not redefine a holiday as more than just a break from school or work? It can be a golden opportunity to reconnect children with their roots: the laughter of grandparents, stories from uncles, and family traditions.
Holidays with extended family leave a lasting imprint on children, providing security, belonging, and empathy—grown from nights listening to grandparent tales or being welcomed with favorite meals.
Children may not fully grasp the significance of these moments now, but as they grow, these memories will shape their identity and remind them of love experienced even before they could pronounce the word “love.”
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