A Friday Morning at the Park

A mother sat on a bench watching her seven-year-old son play with friends. Suddenly, a small argument broke out over who would start first in a ball game. Her son looked tense as a friend grabbed the ball and said firmly, “I’m the first to throw the ball, or I won’t play with you.” The son quietly stepped back, lowered his head, and agreed: “Okay, we agree.” The mother wondered anxiously: Is this tolerance or weakness? Did I teach him to be too kind?

Understanding Tolerance vs. Weakness

Tolerance is about inner strength, not giving in.

Raising a tolerant child doesn’t mean making them overly soft or passive. It means teaching them to be strong without aggression, firm without hostility, and kind without submission. Tolerance is when a child forgives or steps back because they are strong and balanced, not because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Weakness, on the other hand, is a lack of psychological strength.

It shows as avoidance, retreat, excessive dependence on others, or constant submission without defending oneself. Tolerance is a conscious, emotionally intelligent choice to pick battles wisely—not giving up dignity or rights.

Signs of Tolerance in Children:

• Can wait without throwing tantrums

• Tries again after failure

• Accepts different opinions without forcing their own

• Expresses discomfort calmly, without shouting or aggression

Signs of Weakness in Children:

• Withdraws from challenges or quickly fails

• Doesn’t express needs or feelings

• Overly dependent on parents or teachers

• Gets overly upset from minor issues (a look or word)

When Does Tolerance Turn Into Weakness?

• Apologizes repeatedly even when not at fault

• Constantly avoids conflicts

• Suppresses emotions fearing reactions

• Develops a habit of self-doubt and fear of failure

• Lacks personal goals or decisions

Tolerance and Weakness in Sports

• Healthy tolerance:

  • Continues playing after losing without anger

  • Accepts referee decisions

  • Encourages teammates and respects opponents

  • Learns from mistakes and adapts strategy

• Weakness:

  • Quits after losing or making mistakes

  • Blames others

  • Refuses competition out of fear

  • Fears criticism or feedback

What Should Mothers Do If They Notice Weakness?

• Encourage age-appropriate challenges

• Praise effort and persistence, not just results

• Help the child name emotions (anger, frustration, stress) and manage them

• Be a role model by sharing your own experiences of dealing with failure patiently and confidently

9 Practical Steps to Foster Healthy Tolerance

1. Teach respect for diversity and differences starting at home

2. Expose children to films and activities with diverse cultures

3. Encourage self-awareness by talking about feelings and journaling them

4. Train them to say “no” politely and apologize courteously

5. Practice role-playing to handle difficult social situations calmly

6. Celebrate effort and how the child acts, not just outcomes

7. Explain that true strength lies in forgiveness and calmness, not revenge or anger

8. Teach that tolerance requires greater strength than retaliation and that silence can be powerful

9. Emphasize that tolerance is part of justice and that only strong, noble people truly forgive

Tolerance is about balance and emotional intelligence. It’s a sign of maturity and strength—not weakness.