Raising children is never simple, and it becomes even more challenging with the arrival of a second child. Once the excitement of a newborn fills the home with joy, parents—especially mothers—face new challenges beyond sibling jealousy. Dr. Walaa Harbi, Professor of Child Education and Psychology, recommends several strategies to maintain balance between siblings while dividing attention between the older child and the newborn.
1. Sibling Jealousy
Jealousy is common when the first child suddenly sees the attention shift to the newborn.
Signs may include aggression, withdrawal, crying for attention, or other undesired behaviors.
Mother’s Role:
Explain that the newborn needs extra care because of their age.
Give the older child small responsibilities, like fetching diapers or toys.
Dedicate daily one-on-one time for the older child.
Avoid comparisons between children to prevent feelings of resentment.
2. Managing Time Between Two Children
Balancing attention between a newborn and an older child is one of the toughest parenting challenges.
Mother’s Role:
Create a flexible daily schedule for meals, naps, and playtime.
Use the newborn’s nap time for bonding with the older child.
Accept that chaos is part of family life and perfection isn’t required.
Seek support from the father or relatives to reduce stress.
3. Fatigue, Stress, and Guilt
Mothers often feel tired, overwhelmed, or guilty for not giving equal attention to both children.
Mother’s Role:
Focus on quality, not quantity—small meaningful moments count.
Discuss feelings with your partner to reduce emotional burden.
Ensure you get rest; an exhausted mother cannot give her best.
4. Teaching the Older Child to Adapt
Older children may feel displaced or less loved. Parents need to support them psychologically and teach sharing and adaptation.
Mother’s Role:
Make the child feel proud of being the older sibling.
Praise kind and caring behaviors toward the newborn.
Use books or stories to explain the arrival of a new sibling.
Plan simple shared activities, like watching a kids’ movie or playing with blocks.
5. Maintaining Stability During Busy Periods
Parental relationship stability is crucial; neglecting it can affect the children’s well-being.
Mother’s Role:
Set aside even ten minutes daily to connect with your partner.
Share household responsibilities to reduce stress.
Remember that parenting is a team effort aimed at raising happy, balanced children.
6. Meeting Each Child’s Individual Needs
Balancing fairness while recognizing differences is essential.
Mother’s Role:
Tailor care to each child’s age and abilities; equality does not mean identical treatment.
Listen to each child individually and understand their feelings.
Avoid showing favoritism in gestures, even small ones like a hug or pat.
Involve both children in simple decisions to foster a sense of belonging.
General Tips for Easier Management
Be flexible and accept changes.
Connect with other mothers for advice and support.
Take care of your physical and mental health.
Plan ahead to reduce daily chaos.
Celebrate small moments, like shared smiles or cooperation between siblings.
Practical Steps for Daily Routine
Use a baby carrier to stay close to the newborn while caring for the older child or completing tasks.
Rest during the children’s nap times to compensate for lost sleep.
Accept that the first 6–8 weeks will be challenging and lower expectations for perfection.
Spend dedicated time with the older child daily, even if brief.
Encourage the older child to assist with small tasks, building responsibility and self-worth.
Never compare the children and maintain emotional equality in interactions.
By following these strategies, parents can nurture a harmonious relationship between siblings while maintaining balance and reducing stress in the household.
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