Good communication is essential for building a stable and happy environment in a marriage. It is a cornerstone for fostering trust and mutual respect. Effective communication means that both partners can exchange ideas and feelings clearly, honestly, and respectfully, giving each other the opportunity to express themselves without fear or feeling threatened.
Couples know they’ve lost communication when long silences or shallow “surface-level” conversations replace meaningful dialogue. Despite being together physically, a sense of loneliness prevails.
In this context, “Sayidaty” spoke with Rania Al-Maadawi, family relations consultant, about how couples can recognize when they’ve lost communication.
What Does Communication Between Partners Mean?
Communication between partners includes verbal, nonverbal, and active listening.
Rania Al-Maadawi explains:
“As humans, we rely mostly on verbal communication to send and receive information. Expressing thoughts, feelings, experiences, opinions, and needs, as well as listening and responding effectively, are key components of a successful relationship.”
Communication is not just about speaking or responding—it’s also about how we do it. Verbal, nonverbal, and active listening together build intimacy, trust, and mutual understanding. Key aspects include:
Active Listening and Empathy: Understanding the feelings behind words without judgment.
Emotional Communication and Intimacy: Sharing hopes, fears, and inner life strengthens emotional bonds.
Conflict Resolution: Effective communication helps manage disagreements constructively, focusing on understanding rather than winning.
Clarity and Honesty: Expressing feelings clearly to avoid misunderstandings.
Nonverbal Cues: Paying attention to body language, tone, and eye contact to fully grasp the message.
Commitment: Demonstrating respect for your partner’s perspective and valuing their input.
Effective communication creates a shared reality where both partners feel supported, heard, and understood in daily life and challenges.
When Communication Breaks Down: Signs of “Marital Silence”
Losing communication between partners threatens family stability. Al-Maadawi explains:
“Communication allows partners to know each other’s true feelings rather than make assumptions. Expressing ourselves calmly, clearly, and respectfully strengthens bonds, and helps manage conflicts. But when communication breaks down, emotional and daily conversations fade, criticism and blame increase, problems are ignored, and emotional discussions are avoided.”
Signs of lost communication include:
Marital Silence:
Conversations become shallow, limited to routine matters like household chores or finances.
Emotional sharing disappears, and partners feel lonely despite being together.
Future planning diminishes as each partner focuses on personal goals.
Constant Criticism:
Criticism, blame, or sarcasm replaces support and understanding.
Mutual respect erodes, leading to emotional withdrawal and isolation.
Feeling Lonely:
Emotional emptiness and alienation prevail under the same roof.
Deep conversations vanish, leaving negative feelings to accumulate.
Pretending in Public:
Couples may act happy before friends or family while emotional distance grows privately.
Neglect and Indifference:
Ignoring your partner’s feelings or needs.
Avoiding conversations or shared activities, reducing the relationship to cohabitation only.
Lack of Future Planning:
Discussions about long-term goals, travel, family, or career stop.
Personal priorities take over, leaving the partner out of plans.
Avoiding Time Together:
Choosing to spend time apart, whether at work, with friends, or on devices, rather than engaging with the partner.
5 Simple Steps to Restore Communication
Express Yourself Honestly and Calmly:
Choose a time when both partners are relaxed and have enough time. Think beforehand about what you want to say and how to say it. Speak calmly, clearly, and truthfully.Listen to Your Partner:
Active listening is essential. Focus fully on what your partner is saying without planning your response. Understand their feelings and perspective.Use and Observe Nonverbal Communication:
Body language conveys emotions beyond words. Closed postures or looking away may signal frustration, while nodding and smiling show understanding. Adjust your own nonverbal cues to foster openness.Respect Your Partner’s Perspective:
Acknowledge their feelings even if you disagree. Everyone’s perspective is shaped by experiences, upbringing, and personality. Understanding each other is the first step to compromise.Be Patient:
Patience is vital in communication. Emotions are not always easy to express clearly. Take deep breaths, stay calm, and remember your love for your partner. Accept that perfection is impossible; disagreements are a natural part of a healthy relationship.
Efforts to listen, respect, and understand will strengthen your bond over time and help you reconnect emotionally.
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