Young people often struggle with choosing their social circles, sometimes due to lack of experience or letting emotions override reason. This makes them more vulnerable to toxic relationships.
According to Malak Youssef Aitani, Master Practitioner of NLP and Life Coach specializing in personal and professional development, in an interview with Nadormagazine:
“Human relationships are the infrastructure of an individual’s psychological and social health. With the rise of psychological awareness tools, the term ‘toxic relationships’ has emerged to describe patterns that drain emotional energy and weaken self-esteem.”
However, Aitani warns that the widespread use of the term on social media often oversimplifies its meaning, which necessitates a scientific and practical framework to distinguish toxic from healthy relationships.
What Is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is one where patterns of manipulation, control, or devaluation are repeated, creating a psychological loop of emotional drain. Such relationships:
Reinforce negative self-talk: “I’m not enough,” “It’s my fault.”
Establish links between the other person and recurring negative emotions, making psychological detachment difficult.
Impair self-perception and hinder progress toward personal goals, keeping the individual trapped in reactive cycles instead of conscious action.
Toxic vs. Normal Conflict
Not every disagreement is toxic. Young people, in particular, may mistake anger or impulsive behavior for toxicity. Even healthy relationships experience tension or conflict, which can be constructive if boundaries and honesty are respected.
Types of Toxic Relationships
Aitani identifies two main types:
Relationships that can improve
May involve errors, poor communication, or minor toxicity.
Can be improved if there is mutual respect, willingness to change, and genuine effort.
Relationships that perpetuate harm
Chronic patterns of insult, control, manipulation, or emotional drain.
Attempts at reconciliation fail because the other party refuses to acknowledge or stop the harmful behavior.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Look for these red flags:
Chronic exhaustion: Feeling guilty, drained, or confused after interactions.
Reality manipulation: Denial or distortion of events (gaslighting), causing self-doubt.
Repeated boundary violations: Your requests for privacy, respect, or calm are ignored.
Fear instead of safety: Monitoring words and actions to avoid triggering reactions.
Conditional love: Feeling love is tied to performing certain actions.
Empty apologies: Apologies without meaningful change or accountability.
One or two incidents alone do not define a relationship as toxic—the pattern and lack of genuine repair matter most.
Three Steps to Assess a Relationship
Identify the pattern: Is this a one-time issue or repeated behavior?
Evaluate the impact: Assess how the relationship affects your mental, physical, and emotional well-being, as well as your self-confidence and decision-making.
Choose a conscious path: Decide whether to work on improvement, set strict boundaries, or disengage entirely.
Strategies for Managing Toxic Relationships
In Romantic Relationships
Focus on recurring patterns, not isolated incidents.
Address unhealthy attachment: Identify anxious or avoidant behaviors.
Increase self-awareness: Recognize triggers and what truly harms you.
Set clear boundaries: Define what is acceptable and what is not.
In Family Relationships
Families may have entrenched roles and history, but healing is possible.
Redefine roles: Avoid the rescuer or people-pleaser pattern.
Adjust expectations: Disagreement is normal; respect is key.
Practice flexibility over complete cutoff: Reduce friction, organize interactions, and communicate in safe spaces rather than sever ties entirely.
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