Just as some say that arguments between couples are the “spice of married life,” the same applies to conflicts among children—whether siblings, friends, or neighbors. Disagreements among children are natural, and mothers should expect quarrels at home, often over the smallest reasons.
Often, these conflicts never reach the mother, as children can resolve them on their own. Sometimes they avoid involving the mother because intervention might stop their play, which they don’t want to end. However, when a fight escalates into physical aggression, the mother must step in.
Educational counselor Ghadir Salman shares five essential tips for quickly and effectively resolving conflicts between children:
1. Recognize That Conflict Is Normal
Understand that quarrels are a normal part of childhood. Stay calm, patient, and composed. Immediate intervention for every minor disagreement can harm your children’s confidence and make them reliant on you for every small issue. Allow children to solve minor disputes themselves to build problem-solving skills and self-confidence.
2. Intervene Firmly When Needed
When conflicts escalate, step in decisively. Separate the children—one on each side—to assert your authority. Speak firmly and clearly, calling each child by name. This shows that you do not tolerate fighting and helps prevent repetition of the behavior.
3. Listen Attentively to Both Sides
Once children are calm, listen to each child fully. If there has been physical harm, attend to the injured child first. Give each child equal time to share their perspective without interruption. Fair and attentive listening is crucial for understanding and resolving the conflict effectively.
4. Avoid Taking Sides
Do not favor one child over another, whether based on age, gender, or personality. Bias can lead to resentment, jealousy, and long-term emotional issues. Seek neutral accounts of the incident when possible and ensure fairness in both listening and judgment.
5. Resolve the Root Cause
Don’t rely on temporary measures like shouting or sending children to separate rooms. Address the underlying issue to prevent future conflicts. Discipline the child at fault immediately in an age-appropriate manner, connecting the consequence directly to the behavior to ensure the lesson is learned.
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