Reasons Why Young Children Repeat the Same Mistakes

Most mothers often complain about the same issue happening repeatedly at home: a young child, older than three years and now at an age when he should learn discipline, refuses to obey his parents. He may even be labeled as one of the “disobedient children” in the family. Mothers especially feel embarrassed in front of others and wonder how their child can listen quickly and easily, for his health and success in school, for example.

Repeating the same mistake is a big problem. It is not only that the child makes a mistake, but he keeps repeating it, as if he insists on challenging adults. For this reason, Sayidaty & Your Child interviewed educational counselor Aref Abdullah, who explained why children repeat the same wrong behavior despite constant guidance. He also gave important advice for mothers to help their children listen and show respect. Here are the main reasons:

Why Children Repeat the Same Mistakes

1. A child older than three, but not yet in school, still lacks cognitive maturity. He cannot fully understand consequences, so he may repeat a behavior even after being corrected.

2. The child may repeat the same behavior if he feels neglected. He wants attention from his mother—even if the attention is negative, such as shouting, hitting, or punishment.

3. Children often imitate adults or people around them. The environment plays a major role because children do not learn through lectures or verbal instructions alone.

4. A lack of clear family rules causes confusion. Children need boundaries from an early age. Consistency is essential: what is right stays right, and what is wrong stays wrong.

5. Young children have limited self-control. They cannot “press the brakes” easily. Curiosity and the desire to explore often override self-restraint.

6. Some habits are inherited or repeatedly seen around them. The child may know a behavior is wrong but finds it very difficult to stop.

7. Some developmental conditions, such as ADHD or autism spectrum disorder, affect a child’s ability to control behavior, learn from mistakes, or avoid repeating them.

Effective Steps to Prevent Repeating Mistakes

1. Offer Choices, Not Orders

Give the child positive choices instead of direct commands. After age three, a child wants independence. With smart strategies, he can follow your instructions while feeling that he made the decision himself.

2. Turn Tasks into Simple Competitions

Be clever when asking for cooperation. Encourage your child through a fun challenge that he can win. For example:

“Let’s race! I will bring in the dry clothes, and you pick up your toys.”

3. Make Him Believe It Was His Idea

Let your child think that following your instruction is his own decision. This builds confidence and strengthens personality. For example, instead of saying:

“You must finish all your food,”

say:

“Champions always finish their plates to grow strong—just like your favorite hero!”

4. Encourage Instead of Commanding

Too many orders make the child anxious and unmotivated. Reduce commands and increase encouragement, affection, and praise.

Tell him gently:

“I know you can finish your food just like grown-ups,”

instead of:

“Eat quickly! Finish everything!”

5. Let Him Learn from Experience, Not Lectures

Teach through natural consequences. The child needs to feel the result without punishment.

Instead of:

“Hang your coat, or I’ll hit you,”

say calmly:

“If you go out without your coat, you will be cold and get wet in the rain.”