Are We Raising Confident Children or Fearful Ones?

Mothers often ask themselves: Does what I do to protect my children really help them, or does it make the world outside the home harder for them? Am I overprotective, or am I simply acting according to my nature as a mother?

Although this question seems simple, it opens the door to a reality experienced by many children between the ages of 6 and 10. Children are often surrounded by guidance, restrictions, and constant monitoring. Some of this is necessary, while some leaves a deep impact on the child’s personality and their ability to express themselves and interact with others.

According to UNICEF statistics, one in seven children worldwide between the ages of 10 and 19 suffers from a mental health disorder due to this ongoing push and pull. This places parents face to face with a clear truth: silence, shyness, hesitation, withdrawal, or even excessive perfectionism are often messages a child sends to say that something inside them needs attention.

In this report, Dr. Othman Khalil, Professor of Child Psychiatry, answers an important question: Are we raising confident children or fearful ones? He explains the factors that influence a child, including social skills, mental health awareness, and family dynamics, and suggests ways parents can achieve a golden balance that protects without exaggeration and supports without control.

Ideas to Learn From

Today’s Child Needs a Mother Who Listens More Than She Expects

A child today needs a mother who listens more than she thinks she should. We live in a time when everything has changed: parenting styles, play, learning methods, communication, and even the nature of fear itself.

The Arab child, despite their love for and dependence on their family, needs more than protection. They need encouragement, space to test themselves, permission to make mistakes, and an environment where their feelings matter just as much as their behavior.

When we give children this space, we bring out the best in them: a polite and confident child, respectful yet able to defend themselves, calm but with a voice the world can hear. Most importantly, a child who knows they are loved just as they are.

First: Restrictive Protection and Its Impact on Social Skills

A Polite Child… but Hesitant

At home, children often hear phrases such as: Sit properly. Don’t talk too much. Don’t answer back. Be careful.

Although these messages usually come from good intentions, their repetition makes the child think more than act. They become afraid to take initiative, even when they are capable.

Because social environments outside the family are often limited, children may need more time to adapt socially and feel comfortable in new groups or unfamiliar situations.

Fear of Judgment: When Being “Right” Becomes a Burden

A child’s mind at this age is simple but sensitive. Constantly hearing “Be careful how people see you” or “Don’t make mistakes” can turn caution into fear of expression itself. The child hesitates before answering, asking for help, or sharing opinions, not because they don’t know, but because they fear being wrong.

Friendships may become extremely selective, and when the social circle becomes too small, the child misses learning how to accept differences and diversity. Entering school then becomes a major challenge, reinforcing the image of the “quiet” or “shy” child.

Excessive Politeness Without Courage

Politeness is a deeply rooted value in Arab upbringing. However, when politeness suppresses healthy assertiveness, the child may struggle to defend themselves, express discomfort, or claim their rights. Achieving balance between manners and confidence requires awareness from parents more than ever.

Second: Mental Health – An Inner World We Don’t Always Hear

Silent Perfectionism and Hidden Pressure

A child who constantly tries not to upset anyone often carries an emotional burden beyond their age. Trying to please parents, teachers, and society can lead to excessive perfectionism, self-criticism, fear of failure, and sensitivity to feedback. These pressures may appear as headaches, nightmares, avoidance, quiet crying, or prolonged silence.

The Digital World and Invisible Anxiety

This is a new challenge previous generations didn’t face. A child spending hours on screens lives in a quiet world filled with stimulation: comparison with others, exposure to age-inappropriate content, emotional overload, constant distraction, and mood swings. While the child may appear calm externally, their mind may be under constant pressure, making real-life communication and social integration more difficult.

Third: Family Dynamics Between Protection and Empowerment

Overprotection Does Not Create Decision-Makers

Excessive protection often comes from love, especially among caring Arab mothers, but it can unintentionally prevent children from making simple decisions. Answering on their behalf, managing their conflicts, and directing every step makes the child feel loved, yet incapable, and reinforces the idea that the world is too dangerous to face alone.

Loving Families… but Silent Ones

In many Arab homes, certain topics are avoided: emotions, fear, discomfort, and sensitive questions. When children don’t find a safe space to speak, they retreat into silence, hesitation, imagination, or screens.

Practical Family Steps: Between Protection and Freedom

A mother’s role is a bridge between tradition and modern reality. She notices changes, reads small signals, and understands her child deeply.

Key steps include:

• Allow your child to try. Protect without suffocating. Listen before judging. Ask instead of commanding: What do you think? How would you prefer to do this?

• Gradually reduce screen time. Even 30 minutes less per day makes a difference.

• Teach simple assertive phrases: I don’t like this. Please stop. This is my right.

• Give decision-making space: choosing clothes, organizing their bag, setting playtime.

• Encourage mistakes and treat them as learning opportunities, not judgments.

• Share simple experiences: visiting a new child, joining an activity, playing outdoors.

• Open daily dialogue, especially before bedtime: What was the best part of your day? What didn’t you like?

• Respect their small sense of privacy. Even at this age, children need a space that feels like their own.

In the end, balanced parenting builds children who feel safe, heard, and confident enough to face the world without fear.