Even if a mother expresses her joy about becoming a parent and living the beautiful experience of motherhood, she might unintentionally do small things that harm her child’s personality — turning them into a dependent individual who cannot face problems or make independent decisions. Such a child becomes like a machine operated remotely by others.
It’s essential for mothers to pay attention to small, spontaneous actions that may seem harmless but actually raise a dependent and demanding child. Educational counselor Maha Abdullah highlights seven common behaviors mothers do that foster dependency in their children.
1. Doing Everything for the Child
Out of love, many mothers do tasks that their children should learn to handle themselves — dressing, organizing their belongings, or even cleaning up. However, children must gradually learn self-care and personal responsibility.
When a mother performs all the child’s tasks under the belief that “he’s still young,” she unknowingly raises a dependent child. Over time, such behavior creates a child who cannot function independently and requires constant help — making everyday life more exhausting for both.
2. Overprotection Leads to Dependency
Excessive protection often backfires. While it’s natural to want to keep your child safe, acting as their constant defender — speaking on their behalf or managing their every situation — prevents them from developing problem-solving skills.
Children raised with overprotection struggle to make even simple decisions. Eventually, the mother feels drained and frustrated by a child who depends on her for everything, despite being physically capable.
Balance is key: protect your child’s health and emotional well-being, but allow them space to form friendships, handle minor issues, and “stand on their own two feet.”
3. Constant Criticism Creates Dependency
Continuous criticism damages a child’s confidence and motivation. Instead of criticizing mistakes, mothers should encourage their children, even for small achievements.
When a child constantly hears, “That’s not good enough” or “You didn’t do it right,” they may stop trying altogether. Accept mistakes as part of growth — after all, children learn just like adults do. A little mess and imperfection can actually help them develop initiative and creativity.
4. Responding Instantly to Every Request
If you rush to meet every request immediately, your child begins to see you as a personal servant rather than a parent. Over time, this teaches them to be controlling, selfish, and inconsiderate of others’ efforts.
Instead, discuss their needs. Ask what they can do on their own and explain that every family has limits — both in effort and in budget. A child who learns that not every wish is instantly granted becomes more patient, empathetic, and independent.
5. Belittling the Child’s Abilities
Never mock or belittle your child, especially in front of others. When a child feels humiliated or unworthy, they lose confidence and withdraw from challenges.
Instead of saying, “That’s wrong,” try:
“What do you think about trying again?”
This encourages persistence and builds resilience. A child who feels supported will keep trying until they succeed.
6. Lack of Parental Role Modeling
Children learn by imitation, not lectures. If parents avoid responsibility, children will mirror that behavior. Being a role model in words and actions is vital.
Demonstrate accountability and honesty — even in small matters. Remember, a child’s mind is like a blank canvas; what you draw on it stays. Once imprinted, it’s hard to erase.
7. Excessive Pampering Creates Dependency
While affection is necessary, overindulgence teaches children that life revolves around them. A child who gets everything without effort grows up entitled and unmotivated.
Balance is essential: your child needs love and attention, but within reasonable limits. Hug your child daily — five meaningful hugs are enough to build emotional security — but let them experience effort, patience, and responsibility.
In Summary
A mother’s love is powerful, but love without boundaries can lead to dependency. Encourage your child’s independence, teach responsibility, and balance affection with discipline. Doing so will raise a confident, self-reliant individual — not a dependent one.
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