In the rush of modern life, we often neglect the part of ourselves that reflects our truest essence — our emotions.
How many times have we smiled while our hearts felt heavy with sadness?
How often has anger masked our fear of loss?
Have you ever paused to ask yourself: “What am I really feeling?”
Emotions are not fleeting; they are a complex blend of bodily sensations, mental interpretations, and past experiences. Sometimes we experience conflicting feelings — joy at an achievement and grief over separation — in the same moment. At other times, we struggle to name what we’re feeling, and that emotional suppression manifests physically as headaches, tension, or insomnia.
So, can we learn the language of our emotions? How do we distinguish between emotion and feeling? And how can we transform negative emotions from a heavy burden into a guiding signal for growth?
Emotion vs. Feeling
According to Dr. Dana Mohammed Al-Marzouqi, an emotion is an automatic, physical response to a psychological or physical stimulus — such as a racing heartbeat when feeling fear. A feeling, on the other hand, is our conscious interpretation of that response — when we label it as “fear.”
“The two concepts often overlap because they occur rapidly,” she explains, “but learning to distinguish them helps us understand what’s happening inside us.”
A Universal Language
Research shows that basic emotional expressions are universal across all humans, regardless of culture or language. Scientists like Ekman and Plutchik identified core universal emotions — joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise, and disgust — which even infants display. “This indicates that emotions are an innate human language,” says Dr. Al-Marzouqi.
How Complex Emotions Develop
Complex emotions such as jealousy, love, or gratitude usually appear in early childhood (ages 3–6), when basic emotions begin to merge with mental interpretation and personal experience.
For example, jealousy can combine fear of loss, anger at threat, and sadness over potential separation.
Why Some People Struggle to Express Emotions
Some adults find it difficult to identify or express emotions — a condition known as alexithymia.
“This often stems from childhood,” explains Dr. Al-Marzouqi. “Many were raised in environments that prioritized material needs over emotional awareness. In some cultures, expressing emotion — like crying — is even discouraged as a sign of weakness.”
Such emotional suppression can lead to unmanaged emotions, resulting in attachment issues, obsessive thoughts, or psychosomatic illnesses such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
Emotional Contradictions Are Normal
Feeling contradictory emotions simultaneously — like happiness and sadness at graduation — is completely natural. It doesn’t necessarily indicate a mental disorder but rather reflects the complexity of human experience.
While genetics form the biological basis of our emotional responses, upbringing and environment shape how we interpret and express them. Early relationships, in particular, “program our emotional responses, consciously or unconsciously.”
Negative Emotions: Warning Signals, Not Enemies
“All emotions are meant to serve us — even the negative ones,” says Dr. Al-Marzouqi.
Anger signals that a boundary has been crossed.
Sadness invites reflection and emotional healing.
However, when negative emotions persist for weeks and interfere with daily life, professional help is needed.
Positive Emotions: The Fuel of Health
Positive feelings such as gratitude, hope, and contentment increase levels of dopamine and serotonin (the “happiness hormones”) while reducing cortisol (the stress hormone).
This biochemical balance enhances focus, memory, sleep, and immunity, allowing the body to better cope with stress.
Balancing the Positive and the Negative
“The goal is not to suppress emotions,” says Dr. Al-Marzouqi, “but to acknowledge them without letting them control us.”
We can label what we feel, reflect on its trigger, release its tension, and intentionally nurture positive emotions afterward.
“For every negative feeling,” she adds, “we need three to five positive ones to counterbalance it — for instance, by naming three things we feel grateful for.”
The Link Between Emotions, Decisions, and Health
Emotions are not the opposite of logic — they support it.
“They act as messengers guiding our attention to potential danger,” Dr. Al-Marzouqi notes.
But unprocessed emotions can manifest physically as chronic pain, allergies, digestive issues, or even more serious illnesses.
Psychological therapy — especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) — has been proven effective in breaking the link between distorted thoughts and distressing emotions.
Emotions as Creative Energy
Emotions are the fuel of creativity — the essence behind art, music, and writing.
“When we express our emotions authentically,” says Dr. Al-Marzouqi, “we not only touch others but also heal ourselves.”
Daily Practices for Emotional Balance
To maintain emotional flexibility and stability:
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Exercise regularly – even 15 minutes a day releases endorphins that boost mood.
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Practice deep breathing, such as the 4:4:4 method (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4), especially before sleep or when angry.
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Journal or meditate daily to process emotions.
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Sleep and nutrition remain key to emotional regulation.
Transforming Fear and Anger into Positive Energy
The first step is awareness — noticing, naming, and accepting the emotion.
Then, use CBT techniques to challenge automatic thoughts.
For example:
“I felt sad because someone ignored me — maybe they don’t like me.”
Replace it with:
“Perhaps they simply didn’t notice me in the crowd.”
This cognitive shift gradually changes emotional reactions and transforms distress into growth energy.
When Empathy Becomes Draining
“Empathy is a virtue,” warns Dr. Al-Marzouqi, “but if it drains your energy, it becomes unhealthy. Ask yourself: Is this my emotion or someone else’s? Setting emotional boundaries is essential.”
When to Seek Professional Help
If negative emotions persist, disrupt sleep or work, or create self-harm risk, it’s time to seek psychological support.
CBT remains one of the most evidence-based approaches to restructure harmful thoughts and relieve emotional burden.
The Golden Formula
Dr. Al-Marzouqi concludes:
“Emotional balance isn’t a luxury — it’s a daily practice.
Start by naming, acknowledging, and releasing your emotions, then refill your inner tank with gratitude and hope.
This is the golden formula for living consciously in a fast-paced, demanding world.”
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