Teaching Children About Abuse: A Guide for Parents

Although abuse is a sensitive topic, informed adults can teach children early about it and how to reduce risk factors. Many parents wonder: How can I talk to my child about this? How do I teach boundaries, expectations, safety, and respect?

It’s important to understand that what begins as inappropriate behavior can escalate into abuse. Awareness and knowledge help reduce a child’s exposure to risk.

Understanding Abuse

Statistics: 90% of child abuse cases involve someone the child knows and trusts.
Reporting: Only 1 in 10 children report abuse.
Parental role: Adults must recognize boundary-crossing behaviors and listen to children who express discomfort or fear. Believing children is critical.

Interactive Safety Quiz for Ages 6–8

The following fun, educational quiz helps children learn to identify safe and unsafe behaviors without creating fear. It can be used at home or school.

Question 1

A person says: “Come with me, I’ll show you a cute puppy behind the tree!” What do you do?

Go with them.
Say “No, thank you” and return to mom or dad immediately. ✅
Ask to check with your parent first.

Reason: Anyone trying to take you somewhere without your parents’ knowledge is not safe, even if they say something nice.

Question 2

A stranger offers candy and says: “Take it, but don’t tell your parents, I’ll give you more tomorrow.” What does this mean?

They love me.
They’re hiding something dangerous. ✅
They’re joking.

Reason: Asking you to keep secrets from parents is unsafe. Good people don’t ask for secrets.

Question 3

If someone touches you in a way you don’t like, what do you do?

Move away and say, “Stop, I don’t like it.” ✅
Stay quiet because you’re scared.
Laugh to show you’re okay.

Reason: You have the right to protect your body. Speaking up is brave.

Question 4

Who can you tell if something scares or upsets you?

Someone you love and trust, like a parent, teacher, or grandparent. ✅
Anyone, even a stranger.
No one.

Reason: Trusted adults are the ones who will listen and protect you.

Question 5

A stranger in nice clothes says: “Your mom sent me to take you home!” but your mom didn’t tell you. What do you do?

Go with them.
Ask them for a family password. ✅
Run to a place with people and ask for help. ✅

Reason: Use a family password or escape to safety and seek help.

Question 6

Can anyone ask you to remove your clothes or show their body?

Yes, if they say they are a doctor.
No, unless it’s with your parent in a doctor’s office. ✅
Maybe, if they promise a gift.

Reason: Your body belongs to you. Only a doctor in the presence of a parent can examine you.

Question 7

An older child says: “We won’t be friends if you don’t do what I ask.” What do you do?

Agree so you don’t lose them.
Say: “A true friend doesn’t force me.” ✅
Leave feeling sad.

Reason: Friends don’t pressure you. Force is a warning sign.

Question 8

You see a strange car following you to school. What do you do?

Run to a nearby store or house for help. ✅
Hide behind a tree.
Walk faster without telling anyone.

Reason: Crowded or adult-supervised areas are safest.

Question 9

Can someone who harms you be someone you know?

Yes, sometimes. ✅
No, only strangers.
I don’t know.

Reason: Abusers can be familiar people. Safety depends on actions, not familiarity.

Question 10

When should you shout for help?

If someone touches you inappropriately.
If someone tries to take you away from your parents.
Both situations. ✅

Reason: Your voice is your strongest protection.

Question 11

Someone says: “Don’t tell anyone, it’s our secret.” What do you do?

Keep the secret.
Tell a trusted adult immediately. ✅
Wait until they speak first.

Reason: Secrets that make you sad or scared are not good. Tell an adult right away.

Question 12

What makes someone abusive or a kidnapper?

Touching or taking you without permission. ✅
Just yelling.
Being a stranger.

Reason: Behavior, not appearance, identifies danger.

Question 13

Can an abuser seem friendly?

Yes, they may act nice to trick you. ✅
No, they always look scary.
I don’t know.

Reason: Safety depends on actions, not looks. Fake kindness isn’t safe.

Question 14

If you feel uncomfortable, what’s the first thing to do?

Move away immediately. ✅
Think carefully before acting.
Laugh to hide fear.

Reason: Your body gives warning signs—act immediately and seek help.

Question 15

After escaping a dangerous situation, should you tell someone?

Yes, immediately. ✅
No, it’s over.
Only if asked.

Reason: Reporting helps adults protect you and others.

7 Important Steps to Teach Children

Listen to your instincts; talk to a trusted adult if you feel scared, sad, or confused.
Teach them to say “No” loudly if someone makes them uncomfortable.
Make a list of three trusted adults they can tell.
Acknowledge they may not fully understand what happened but validate their feelings.
Listen patiently and openly.
Ask open-ended questions: “Tell me more about that.”
Teach children to respect boundaries—theirs and others’—and to understand consent.

Protecting Children Outside the Home

Do not allow inappropriate touching, language, images, or forcing them to undress.
Teach children direct steps to protect themselves and recognize danger.

If a Child Discloses Abuse

Stay calm: Your reaction affects their recovery.
Avoid overwhelming questions: Ask open-ended prompts like “Who did this? Where? When?”
Support and never blame: Praise them for telling you.
Believe the child: Most children don’t lie about abuse.
Seek legal and medical help: Have the child examined and report to authorities as needed.

This guide provides a child-friendly, structured approach to help children understand boundaries, recognize unsafe behavior, and know how to respond.