When toddlers begin learning new words every day, their speech becomes a joy for parents to hear. But sometimes, parents notice their children talking to themselves—telling stories, playing with imaginary characters, or engaging in seemingly aimless chatter. This behavior often starts around age 2, peaks between 3 and 5, and may last until ages 8–10.
According to Dr. Fatma El-Shanawi, child psychiatrist, this is completely normal and not a cause for concern.
Why Children Talk to Themselves
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Language practice: Children rehearse new words and phrases, often repeating what parents say to them.
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Self-soothing: Talking helps them manage stress, separation from parents, or challenging emotions.
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Imagination: From age 2, children begin creating imaginary worlds with toys, which prepares them for real-life social interaction.
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Imaginary friend development: A healthy stage that fosters creativity and emotional expression.
What Is an Imaginary Friend?
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An imaginary friend is a fictional companion many children invent.
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Studies show 2 out of 3 children create one at some point.
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The friend may resemble a real child, a toy, or a completely invented character.
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Imaginary friends often appear between ages 2–5 and may stay for months or even years.
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Reasons include: wanting companionship, seeking support, exploring special powers, or having someone who won’t judge them.
The Parent’s Role
Research from Boston College and Utah State University suggests that excessive parental monitoring can increase childhood anxiety and depression.
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Too much control limits children’s chances to play freely, explore, and take healthy risks.
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Children benefit from independent activities and opportunities to contribute meaningfully to family life.
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Outdoor play involving mild risk (climbing, jumping, handling pets) supports resilience and lowers anxiety.
How to Handle It
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Don’t interrupt: Let your child talk to themselves—it supports language, imagination, and coping skills.
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Join playfully: If needed, interact with their imaginary friend (e.g., “Can you tell your doll it’s bedtime?”).
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After trauma: If self-talk starts following a stressful event, gently engage or consult a specialist.
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Rule out autism: Children with autism may talk to themselves, but not every child who does has autism. Seek medical advice if concerned.
When to Intervene
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If self-talk continues intensely beyond age 8–10, gently discuss it with your child.
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Ask simple yes/no questions to understand their needs and provide emotional support.
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Keep them busy with helpful activities at home and with siblings.
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Avoid excessive attention to the behavior—guide them calmly and consistently instead.
✨ Bottom line: Talking to themselves or to imaginary friends is usually a healthy developmental stage that fosters creativity, language, and emotional growth. Parents should allow it, gently guide when needed, and only seek help if the behavior persists abnormally or is linked to distress.
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