When Kids Refuse Homework: How Mothers Can Stay Calm and Supportive

Most mothers face a growing problem at home: when the child returns from school, he refuses to do the homework assigned by the teachers. The mother also notices that the child tries to completely disconnect from the school atmosphere and wants to spend all his time playing until the next school day. When the mother tries to force him to do the homework and gets angry, sometimes yelling or even hitting him, the child either refuses or pretends to be sick.

The problem of refusing to do homework requires understanding its root causes so the mother can overcome it. Therefore, "Nadormagazine" met with early grade teacher Wasim Youssef, who shared important advice to help answer a common question for mothers: How do you control your anger when your child refuses to do homework? Some tips include not comparing the child to others and seeking the father's help, among others:

Reasons Why Children Refuse to Do Homework

Lazy Student

Know that when your child refuses homework, it often means he lacks motivation and enthusiasm for learning and feels he does not like school.

Most children avoid homework because they think returning home means play and relaxation, and they want to spend more time with family, especially the mother.

You may hear your child say that heavy and numerous homework assignments after school feel like undeserved punishment. Some young students also feel homework is not suitable for their level, as teachers often assign similar tasks to the whole class without considering individual differences, leading to frustration and neglect.

Most homework lacks research or encourages discovery, imagination, or gaining new knowledge, making it dry and unmotivating.

Studies show that a child's intelligence is not related to avoiding homework, and less intelligent children do not necessarily dislike homework.

Research also shows girls tend to avoid homework less than boys. Children use various ways to avoid homework, such as frequent bathroom breaks or pretending to be sick (headaches, stomachaches), asking for food or drinks repeatedly.

Important Steps to Help Mothers Control Their Anger When Children Refuse Homework

1. Prepare the child before starting homework
   Make sure your child is mentally and physically ready before starting homework. Organize and tidy the room or place, as clutter and discomfort affect the child's willingness to sit and work. Ensure the child is not hungry; after returning from school, they may eat lunch and rest for about an hour, then drink refreshing juice and avoid sweets before starting homework.
   Begin by reviewing what the child learned in school that day to help him complete homework easily and prepare for the next day's lessons.

2. Allow rest time between subjects
   Provide short breaks for relaxation or quiet play between reviewing and doing homework for different subjects to avoid mental fatigue.
   Avoid common mistakes like forcing the child immediately after school to do homework without downtime, which causes psychological and physical pressure and makes the child hate homework and school.

3. Encouragement helps motivate the child
   Encourage your child continuously, as encouragement motivates success and good grades through regular study and timely homework completion.
   Communicate with the school administration and teachers to understand your child’s level, monitor grades, and provide small rewards to motivate and encourage him. Identify weaknesses and ways to address them.
   Avoid excessive praise but vary encouragement methods for different homework parts to keep motivation interesting.

4. Avoid comparing children
   Recognize individual differences between boys and girls and among children, relatives, neighbors, or friends. Avoid comparing your child's homework speed to others to prevent discouragement or arrogance.
   Encourage creativity by discussing problems or equations your child solves rather than turning homework into mere copying, which kills motivation and learning.

5. Don't neglect the father's role in homework
   Ensure the father is involved in the child's life and aware of his daily achievements. Even if busy, the mother should arrange time for the father to meet and help the child with at least one problem to encourage him.
   The father's short involvement is very motivating, especially when he offers praise and encouragement, as children often view fathers as role models and heroes.