When a Child Faces Rejection at School: 5 Parenting Solutions

When a child first leaves their mother’s embrace and becomes a student, they enter a new community and a wider world. Even if the child has attended preschool, school presents a different experience—one where friendships begin to form, and the child learns to choose companions independently.

For many mothers, the challenge comes when their child returns home in tears, saying classmates refused to play with them during recess. To address this, Nadormagazine spoke with Dr. Dhekra Abdel Fattah, Educational Counselor, who shared five effective strategies to support children facing peer rejection—without resorting to gifts or bribes to win friends.

1. Avoid Temporary or Traditional “Quick Fixes”

While rejection is painful at any age, relying on traditional approaches often backfires. For example:

Don’t offer gifts to other children to encourage friendship. Such gestures create superficial bonds that don’t last.
Avoid asking other parents to instruct their kids to befriend yours—it undermines natural connections.
Don’t pressure your child daily with questions like, “Did they play with you today?” This makes the child feel defective or overly focused on gaining approval, which can harm self-confidence long term.

2. Reinforce Your Child’s Self-Worth

Teach your child that rejection does not mean something is “wrong” with them.

Help them value their unique qualities and trust their abilities.
Remind them that everyone experiences rejection, even adults.
Build confidence by affirming positive traits—politeness, kindness, creativity—even if they currently lack close friends.
Encourage a sense of dignity: friendships should not come at the cost of self-respect or constant pleading.

3. Explain the Difference Between Classmates and Friends

Not every classmate needs to be a close friend. Help your child understand:

Classmates are peers they learn with, but not necessarily companions beyond the classroom.
A true friend shares interests, respects feelings, defends them, brings joy, and cares about their presence.
This distinction reduces the pressure to “fit in” with everyone and shifts focus toward meaningful relationships.

4. Examine Your Child’s Own Behavior

Sometimes rejection stems not from peers’ faults, but from the child’s own behavior. Parents should ask:

Is the child aggressive, rude, or bullying others?
Do they use inappropriate language?
Are there hygiene issues (unpleasant odors, unbrushed teeth, lice, dirty socks) that might cause peers to avoid them?
Do they display irritating habits (loud chewing, constant interruptions)?

Addressing these issues—whether through behavior correction, hygiene care, or medical attention—can make a big difference in how others respond.

5. Teach Your Child to Find Joy in Solitude

Friendships are valuable, but children must also learn to:

Enjoy their own company through hobbies, reading, or creative play.
Develop skills and talents that build self-satisfaction and resilience.
Understand that friendships come and go—losing one is not the end of the world, and new ones will emerge over time.

A child who learns to maintain dignity and independence will approach relationships from a position of strength rather than neediness.