Many mothers believe that when their child asks others for something, it means the child lacks proper manners or that it reflects poorly on the family. Some parents even think it’s wrong to request anything from anyone. However, this misconception can lead to other parenting mistakes—such as raising children who give up their rights out of shyness or fear of confrontation.
It’s important to set clear rules that help children learn how to protect their own rights while also respecting the rights of others. Educational counselor Hala Abdullah shares practical steps every parent can teach their child to achieve this balance.
Why Does My Child Ask for Other Children’s Belongings?
It’s perfectly natural for a child to come home from school one day with another child’s toy or item and innocently say they took it. This doesn’t mean your child is stealing—true theft in children is a more serious behavior. Instead, this reflects curiosity and the desire to experiment.
Children often don’t yet understand the difference between private and public property. They may insist a toy they borrowed belongs to them or become fascinated with another child’s toy, even if their own is newer or more expensive. This doesn’t mean they are envious or greedy; it’s simply part of learning.
Your role is to teach your child the basics of sharing, exchanging, and respecting ownership—concepts that children (and adults, even nations) rely on to build healthy relationships and keep life moving forward.
Steps to Teach Your Child Not to Give Up Their Rights While Respecting Others
1. Teach Your Child How to Ask Politely
If your child wants another child’s toy, don’t let them cry, grab it, or sneak it away. Instead, guide them to ask with respect. For example:
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Instead of grabbing a bike, teach them to say, “Can I try your bike when you’re done?”
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Explain that asking doesn’t guarantee a “yes.” Their friend may say “no” or “wait.” Help your child understand that rejection doesn’t mean dislike—it’s part of respecting others.
2. Teach Them That Things Matter to Their Owners
Help your child understand that their belongings are valuable, just as others’ are.
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They don’t have to give away their toy permanently, but they can let a friend use it for a short time.
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Teach them to care for their belongings, since they are bought with effort and money.
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As they grow, encourage them to donate toys they’ve outgrown to less fortunate children, which nurtures generosity.
3. Teach Fair Exchange and Sharing
Life is about give and take. If your child asks to use a toy, they should also be willing to share theirs. Otherwise, they risk becoming selfish. Encourage them to protect both their own toys and those of others during play.
4. Let Them Speak for Themselves
Avoid being your child’s “lawyer.” Don’t ask for toys or favors on their behalf. Overprotection teaches children manipulation and dependence. Instead, encourage them to:
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Ask clearly and politely.
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Be confident and respectful when making requests.
Key Lessons Children Learn From Protecting Their Rights
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Good manners when interacting with both peers and adults.
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Stronger friendships built on mutual respect and exchange.
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Self-confidence and leadership by learning to advocate for themselves.
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Respect for privacy and ownership, along with the ability to make their own choices.
By teaching your child these principles, you are not only helping them respect their own rights and those of others, but also shaping them into independent, confident, and empathetic individuals.
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