How to Teach Your Child Independence at the Start of the School Journey

When your little one begins their first days outside the home—heading to daycare or kindergarten in preparation for school—it means they are no longer a baby. They may not be fully grown yet, but it’s time to help them take their first steps toward independence and responsibility.

Educational consultant Dr. Haneen Ramadan shares practical steps on how parents can use the school year to teach their children self-reliance, starting with something as simple as packing their own school bag.

1. Realize That You’re the Only One Who Still Sees Them as a Baby

As a mother, it’s natural to see your child as small and dependent, but others don’t share this perspective. Teachers and peers see them as growing and developing. If you continue doing everything for them—like tying their shoes or brushing their teeth—it may affect their confidence and make them the subject of teasing.

Children are not fragile ornaments; they grow, learn, and develop skills through interaction with their environment. Treat them according to their stage of growth.

2. Let Them Pack Their School Bag Under Your Supervision

One common mistake is preparing your child’s school bag for them. Instead, guide them through the process: open the bag, name each item, and let them place it in the right pocket. Books and notebooks go in one compartment, pencils in another, and the lunchbox in its special space.

The same applies to getting dressed. Help them at first, but gradually step back. By the end of the first school year, they should be able to button their shirts and tie their shoes with minimal assistance.

3. Assign Small Household Responsibilities

By age 6 or 7 (and no later than 10), children should have small household tasks. For example:

  • Taking clothes to the dry cleaner.

  • Throwing garbage into the bin outside.

  • Helping in the kitchen with simple tasks.

  • Paying for small errands, like groceries or laundry.

These tasks teach responsibility, the value of money, and the importance of contributing to the family.

4. Don’t Reward Every Task With Gifts

Avoid offering toys, money, or extra allowance for basic household duties. These are responsibilities every family member shares, not favors deserving of rewards. Linking tasks to gifts may make children entitled or unwilling to help without incentive.

5. Encourage Them to Share Their Opinions

Allow your child to have a say in decisions that affect them, such as choosing school supplies or clothes. If their choice isn’t practical, explain why and guide them to better options.

Also, introduce them to the family’s financial reality in simple terms. For example: “We can’t buy this now, but maybe later.” This fosters a sense of belonging and responsibility.

6. Stop Fighting Small Battles for Them

Don’t rush to defend your child in every situation. Teach them to resolve conflicts with peers on their own. If a classmate takes their pencil, let them handle it instead of stepping in.

Likewise, don’t condition teachers to call you for every small issue. Over-dependence on parents prevents children from developing problem-solving skills.

Teach your child the culture of apology: to say sorry when wrong and accept apologies from others. This skill helps them manage conflicts peacefully without escalating issues.

Final Thought: Independence doesn’t come overnight—it’s built step by step through small responsibilities, guided choices, and encouragement. By giving your child space to learn, you prepare them for a confident and capable future.


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