Many parents, especially mothers, often complain that their child over three years old refuses to listen or follow instructions. This is common, particularly for first-born or spoiled children, who may act stubbornly as a reaction to overindulgence. The key is to guide your child to follow instructions while allowing them to feel independent. Here are some expert tips from educational counselor Janat Abdullah:
1. Offer Choices Instead of Commands
Children over three crave independence. Instead of giving direct orders, give them options that all lead to the desired outcome.
-
Example: Instead of saying, “Change your clothes now,” ask, “Do you want to wear your red shirt or yellow one?”
-
Example: Instead of saying, “Wash your hands,” ask, “Do you want to wash your hands with bar soap or liquid soap?”
This way, the child feels they are making the decision themselves while still achieving your goal.
2. Turn Tasks Into Friendly Competitions
Children love challenges and feeling capable of doing “grown-up” tasks. Turn chores into a fun competition:
-
Example: “Let’s see who finishes faster: I’ll fold the clothes, and you pick up your toys.”
-
Example: “Can you reach your bed before I count to ten?”
This approach makes the child enjoy completing tasks, believing it’s a game, while subtly teaching obedience, organization, and discipline.
3. Let the Child Think It’s Their Idea
Encourage the child to believe that following instructions is their own idea:
-
Example: Instead of “You must finish your plate,” say: “What if you eat all your food like heroes do? Heroes eat to grow strong.”
-
Example: Instead of “Do your homework,” say: “I’m excited to see how you explain what you learned after finishing your homework.”
This builds self-confidence and makes the child feel empowered.
4. Teach Through Natural Consequences
Instead of threats, allow children to experience the natural outcomes of their choices:
-
Example: “If you go out without your coat, you’ll feel cold and get wet in the rain.”
This helps children understand cause and effect without fear, unlike punishment or yelling, which can backfire.
5. Encourage Rather Than Command
Reduce the number of direct commands and increase positive reinforcement:
-
Example: “I know you will finish all the food in your plate like a grown-up,” instead of “Eat quickly and finish your plate!”
Positive motivation and encouragement are far more effective than repeated orders, which often lose their impact over time.
If you want, I can create a practical daily routine for parents using these strategies to make children more cooperative and confident. It would include examples for meals, playtime, homework, and hygiene.
Post a Comment