There are times when you lose your patience with your child and shout in a harsh tone. Remember, this is not the best way to communicate with your child—in fact, it can be the most harmful. According to the website Raising Children, parents often feel overwhelmed or angry, which leads them to raise their voices.
Although a child might seem more obedient when shouted at, this is only temporary and does not improve the child's behavior in the long run. Children heavily rely on their parents for learning. If anger and aggression—like shouting—are part of what a child considers “normal” in their family, this will affect their future behavior.
The Serious Consequences of Frequent Shouting and Scolding
Refusal to Listen
If you think shouting makes children more obedient and willing to listen, this is a mistaken assumption. When parents shout, they actually activate the part of the child's brain responsible for defense and resistance. The child may feel scared, resist, or even try to escape. This can negatively impact their development. Instead of shouting harshly, try discussing the issue calmly when your child makes a mistake.
Why Shouting to Scare Your Child Is Risky
Feelings of Worthlessness
Parents might think shouting earns their child’s respect, but in reality, children who are shouted at frequently often feel worthless. Children naturally want to feel loved and appreciated, especially by those closest to them—their parents.
Excessive shouting can hinder your child’s growth and development. The effects on children exposed to frequent yelling can be similar to those who experience bullying. If parents want their children to grow healthily, it’s best to stop the habit of shouting when mistakes happen.
Strained Parent-Child Relationship
Frequent shouting can strain the relationship between parent and child. Children may feel sad, embarrassed, or unloved. It’s not surprising that children may avoid getting close to parents who often scold or shout at them. This weakens the bond and can lead to misunderstandings.
A weak parent-child bond can seriously affect children’s social relationships later in life. Adult children might struggle to build or maintain close relationships or might repeatedly engage in unhealthy ones.
Risk of Depression
Besides making children feel hurt, scared, or sad, shouting and verbal abuse can cause deeper psychological problems that persist into adulthood. Studies tracking children exposed to frequent yelling found increased behavioral problems by age 13, along with more symptoms of depression.
Other studies link emotional abuse to depression and anxiety. These symptoms can worsen behavior and even lead to self-harm.
Weakened Physical Health
Chronic stress, often called toxic stress, has long-term harmful effects on the body. Over time, elevated cortisol levels can suppress the immune system and the body’s inflammatory response, increasing the risk of infections.
Children exposed to this stress are more vulnerable to serious health problems as adults, including heart disease, chronic lung disease, cancer, asthma, and autoimmune disorders.
Lack of Respect for Parents
Repeated shouting and scolding can cause children to feel unappreciated and unloved, which can lead to them disrespecting their parents in return.
Development of Aggressive Behavior
Children who experience frequent shouting may imitate such behaviors when they grow up, becoming more physically and verbally aggressive. From a young age, children learn to see verbal and physical abuse as a way to solve problems.
Low Self-Confidence
Another important risk of shouting at a child is that it can damage their self-confidence—especially if the shouting is accompanied by hurtful or insulting words. The child may live in fear and anxiety. Parents must then make extra efforts to rebuild their child’s self-esteem.
Children exposed to frequent shouting in childhood are more at risk for behavioral disorders and depression later on due to childhood trauma.
Child Withdrawal and Isolation
Shouting can cause a child to feel depressed and unsafe, leading to withdrawal and difficulty communicating. The child might become hesitant to share problems or feelings, fearing similar reactions.
When a child isolates themselves, parents may find it harder to understand their feelings or any issues they face.
Long-Term Trauma
Habitual shouting and scolding can cause lasting emotional and psychological trauma, affecting the child’s self-esteem, confidence, and future social relationships. Children who regularly experience such negative treatment are more prone to anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.
What to Do If You Shout at Your Child
If you find yourself shouting, it’s important to take immediate steps to fix the situation and improve your relationship:
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Apologize sincerely.
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Explain that shouting is not acceptable.
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Speak gently to your child.
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Give them a hug.
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Spend quality time together.
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