In youth, we often believe that we desire certain things because of external pressures and comparisons. However, as we mature and learn, we realize that those things may not truly bring us happiness, and sometimes, we didn’t even want them in the first place. Identifying what we truly want is not an easy task. It requires a lot of understanding, maturity, and connection with oneself, especially since many young people waste time and energy merely trying to keep up with those around them, whether it’s through their immediate friends or the virtual world on social media—which has become a major source of pressure.
Brian Kramer's Six Core Factors of What Young People Truly Want
The writer and marketing expert Brian Kramer outlined six core factors that define what young people truly want, even if they are not fully aware of it:
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Satisfaction
True satisfaction comes when a person uses their skills and genuine value in work that fulfills both their psychological and material needs. However, no matter how much effort is put into something that doesn’t feel fulfilling, it will not result in long-term contentment. One must feel that they are making a difference, even if it’s a small one. -
Connection
Connection is not about being surrounded by many people or working in large groups. True connection is found when you are surrounded by people who share your values and ambitions. This is when you truly feel like part of a larger goal, and this is one of the things you may actually be seeking. -
Growth
As John Henry Newman said, "Growth is the only evidence of life." Every person, whether young or older, desires to feel that each day adds something to their experience and makes them grow, whether spiritually or in actual development. We want to learn, evolve, and explore new horizons. -
Creativity
Creativity is not just a luxury—it is a human need. Presenting new ideas or innovative products gives one the feeling of true distinction. It allows individuals, whether young or old, to feel they have something valuable to contribute to the world. -
Contribution
Having a positive impact, whether through work, money, or knowledge, and leaving something better than you found it, is a goal everyone seeks, regardless of their social or financial standing. Feeling like you are making a difference is integral to feeling fulfilled. -
Alignment
The ultimate satisfaction is when your internal values align with your daily life. This is true peace—the ability to wake up every day knowing you are on the right path.
What We Think We Want vs. What We Really Want
But why do we often say we want certain things, yet not take steps towards them? Psychologist Nick Winyall offers a deep answer: "Maybe we don’t actually want what we think we want."
Winyall explains this through the "sacrifice test"—a simple but revealing principle: “How willing are you to sacrifice for what you say you want?"
For example:
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You say you want to lose weight, but you don’t exercise regularly.
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You say you want your own business, but you keep reading without taking the first steps.
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You say you want a healthy relationship, but you avoid having honest conversations with your partner.
He suggests that these may just be "wishes" or social expectations, not real desires. "When we are forced to face the costs, time, and discipline required to achieve these desires, we often back out."
The Difference Between “I Want” and “I’m Ready”
Winyall also distinguishes between two types of “I want”:
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"I want" as in: It would be nice to have this.
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"I want" as in: I am fully ready to pay the price, in time, effort, and emotions, to achieve it.
If you haven’t done this deep, honest self-check—considering the sacrifices required—you likely don’t truly want the goal. You just like the idea of having it.
How to Know If You Truly Want Something
Ask yourself:
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Am I willing to change my daily habits for this goal?
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Can I endure temporary discomfort and give up immediate comfort for long-term gain?
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Will I stay committed even if no one notices or appreciates my efforts at first?
If your answer is "yes," then you are on the right path. If it’s "no," it may be time to redefine your goals.
The Expert Advice
Experts suggest that every young person or individual should have their own unique story. This is an internal, honest, and challenging process, but one that is worth it. When you truly understand what you want and acknowledge the price, and are ready to pay it, that’s when your real journey begins.
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