In life’s journey, a person goes through successive stages of growth and development, starting from complete dependence on others during childhood, then gradually moving toward independence and maturity. One of the most important milestones of this transformation is taking responsibility for one’s personal life— a concept that goes beyond merely performing daily duties; it reaches the deepest levels of self-awareness, decision-making ability, and bearing the consequences of those decisions.
However, the fundamental question many ask is: “When does a person actually begin to take responsibility for their personal life?” Does it start at the legal age of adulthood? Or when they leave their parents’ house? Or when they experience an event that changes the course of their life, such as their first job, marriage, or even a personal crisis?
The beginning of taking responsibility is a moment of awareness that may be sudden or gradual, but it certainly represents a turning point in a person’s life. It is the moment when one realizes that they are not a victim of circumstances but the maker of their own destiny.
Psychological health specialist Dr. Farah Al-Har explains to Nadormagazine the meaning of decision-making, the factors that contribute to the growth of this sense of responsibility, the obstacles that may delay it, and how individuals—especially in modern societies—can learn the skills and tools to help them.
Taking Personal Responsibility Consciously and Constructively
Today, we find ourselves walking paths we didn’t fully choose, making decisions driven by pressure, the desire to please others, or fear. People often wonder: Why don’t I feel satisfied? Why do the same mistakes keep repeating?
Of course, the reason is the lack of taking responsibility for our lives and personal decisions. Taking responsibility does not mean self-flagellation; rather, it means acknowledging that we are the decision-makers, and every decision we make in our lives has an impact and a price.
What do you think about the importance of parental support in young people's future decisions?
When we begin to take responsibility for our decisions, we shift from the role of victim to the role of leader in our lives. We move from living in reaction to living with awareness and choice.
Regarding the importance of decision-making, the decisions we make or hesitate to make shape the course of our lives step by step. Every decision, no matter how simple, contributes to shaping our identity, determining our direction, and affecting the quality of our lives, our relationships, and our future.
Decision-making is an expression of our personal freedom and the tool through which we move from a state of reception to a state of influence. When we stop making decisions, we allow others or circumstances to choose for us, and we live a life that is not ours, dominated by hesitation and regret.
But when we are the ones making choices—even amid doubt and fear—we nurture a sense of responsibility and confidence within ourselves and create internal harmony with who we are.
The Importance of Decision-Making
Psychological Health Specialist Dr. Farah Al-Har
Making a decision does not necessarily mean that every choice is perfect; it means that we choose consciously and are able to learn and grow even from mistakes. Life does not reward those who seek perfection only but rewards those who dare to act and take initiative.
Decisions usually start in late adolescence, around the age of eighteen, when the first seeds of personal responsibility begin to appear. The person begins to make decisions, test them, and bear their consequences. At this stage, we see how a teenager makes an initial decision about their university major, which is one of the first steps toward independence.
In the early twenties, a person is expected to transition from being fully influenced by their environment to a stage of conscious choice, where they realize they have the right and duty to choose who they want to be, whom they want to surround themselves with as friends, and whom they want to distance themselves from. They also start to define the values they want to live by, what pleases them and what does not. When they say "no," they are able to set clear boundaries.
Reasons for Delays in Taking Social Responsibility
However, some people delay taking responsibility for their social decisions for several reasons, including: fear of rejection or loneliness, having an overly dependent personality that relies on others—such as parents, society, friends, or partners—for decision-making, pre-programming to please others, feeling guilty when saying "no," and lack of self-esteem and self-respect.
Basic Steps to Start Taking Responsibility
One of the most prominent signs that a person has begun to take responsibility for their social life and decisions is the ability to say "no" when something does not suit them, without feeling guilty. They can set healthy boundaries, better choose who they allow into their lives and who they exclude, bear the consequences of their decisions, interact with others consciously, and regularly review and refine their relationships without relying on others' approval to evaluate themselves or feel their personal value.
The basic steps to start taking responsibility are:
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Evaluating Relationships: Asking oneself who are the people they feel comfortable and supported with, and who harms or burdens them. One must distinguish between those who add energy and those who drain it.
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Saying "No" Clearly: Learning to say "no" in a clear and respectful manner, without guilt, recognizing one’s psychological needs, and not leaving them subject to others’ control or manipulation.
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Making Simple Daily Decisions: Starting with small decisions and bearing their consequences, which builds self-confidence and develops a sense of responsibility.
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Time for Self-Reflection: Dedicating daily time for reflection and writing to listen to one’s inner voice, understand what one truly wants, and consciously review their life path.
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