Jealousy: A Natural Human Feeling That Can Become Destructive

Jealousy is a feeling that many people experience at some point in their lives. Some can control it, while others cannot. It is a natural reaction when we feel threatened over something valuable to us, often a relationship or emotional closeness. But when jealousy becomes excessive or controlling, it can harm relationships and personal well-being, signaling deeper problems.

Expert Insights on Jealousy

Ruqayya Rizq Eid, a human development and relationship expert, explains to nador magazine that jealousy commonly occurs in close relationships, especially romantic ones, but also in friendships, work, or family ties. It can stem from real events like infidelity or from personal fears, past experiences, and insecurities. Jealousy often manifests as suspicion, control, anxiety, anger, or a constant need for reassurance.

Common Signs of Traditional Jealousy

Constant feeling threatened by others around your partner.
Controlling your partner’s behavior, social media, or phone without realizing it.
Always needing reassurance of your partner’s love and loyalty.
Comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate.
Feeling anxious, angry, or stressed at the thought of your partner’s interest in someone else.

When Jealousy Becomes Harmful

Ruqayya notes that healthy jealousy indicates care and investment in a relationship. But when it hinders trust, security, and openness, it leads to conflicts, distance, and destructive behaviors, sometimes even divorce if it involves a spouse. Understanding the root cause of jealousy—low self-esteem, past betrayals, insecure attachment, or communication problems—is crucial to managing it.

How Jealous Are You?

Jealousy can be cognitive and emotional. Some jealousy is normal, but excessive jealousy damages relationships. You can take the following test to see if you are overly jealous, moderately jealous, or not jealous at all:

Jealousy Self-Test

For each statement, choose: Never / Sometimes / Always

If my husband forgets an important date, I understand and think he’s busy.
If my husband forgets an important date, I get very angry and suspect betrayal.
I often call to check that my husband is where he says he is.
I worry that a woman is pursuing my husband.
I wonder if my husband has better friends than me.
I don’t invite my husband to parties where attractive single women are present.
I get upset if my husband compliments another woman’s beauty.
I fear my husband will return to an ex-lover.
I ask my husband who he is talking to on the phone.
Sometimes I obsess that my husband is interested in another woman.
I get very angry if I see my husband following another woman on social media.
I suspect my husband has interests he hasn’t told me about.
I’m sure my husband loves and desires me.
I tell my husband I can’t live without him.
I point out other women’s flaws to my husband to get his attention.
I like to track where my husband is.
I always brag about my husband in front of my friends.
I join conversations when I see my husband talking to another woman.
If I find my husband flirting with another woman, I argue with him strongly.

How to Interpret Your Answers

Mostly Always: You are excessively jealous.
Mostly Never: You are not jealous.
Mostly Sometimes: You have a moderate level of jealousy.