We often think girls are more emotional and focused on love, while boys are more rational and indifferent to it. However, research suggests otherwise. Some studies indicate that young men may actually be more emotionally attached in relationships, with their fear of love rooted in a deeper fear — the fear of being alone.
What Did Research Find?
A 2025 investigation published by The Times (UK) reveals that young men tend to be more romantic than girls. This isn’t because they are naturally more poetic or emotional, but because they fear loneliness more, which drives them to fall in love faster and form stronger emotional attachments.
Studies show that young men often seek long-term relationships because they find psychological and social support in their partners that’s hard to replace. The fear of being alone, or “monophobia,” is a key reason men actively seek love, contrary to the stereotype that men avoid it.
Who Really Fears Love?
Falling in love can be easy for both genders until the responsibilities that come after become clear — like emotional commitment. Research from Lindenwood University in the US used the “Fear of Intimacy Scale” to measure how much people fear emotional closeness.
The study, with equal numbers of males and females, found little significant difference in fear of love between genders. Both young men and women can experience fear of intimacy, but it’s influenced more by:
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Childhood upbringing
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Past experiences
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Emotional traumas
than by biological gender.
How Do Young Men and Women Differ in Love?
Popular culture has shaped some common stereotypes:
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Men avoid commitment
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Women seek emotional security
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Young men fear love because it restricts them
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Young women fear love because it might hurt them
But modern psychology views these as oversimplifications. While young men may be more eager for relationships, they often struggle to express emotions due to traditional masculine norms that view feelings as weakness. Conversely, young women might be more emotionally prepared but cautious due to past negative experiences.
Why Do People Fear Love?
Fear of love often stems from:
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Past betrayals
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Fear of loss
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Feeling unworthy of emotional security
This fear is a natural psychological defense mechanism, not a sign of weakness. Dr. Beth Ellen, a social psychology professor, explains that fear of love sometimes serves as self-protection from possible disappointment.
Key Takeaways from the Studies:
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Young men may fall in love faster because of their need for emotional support.
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Young women are more cautious but not necessarily more fearful of love.
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There are no decisive psychological differences between genders in fear of love.
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Emotional fears are shaped more by personal experiences and psychological factors than biological sex.
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