The Relationship Between the Child and Parents: The Foundation for Building a Balanced Personality

The relationship between a child and their parents is always the primary pillar and foundation for building a balanced and successful personality in society. This relationship requires effort and attention; a child’s needs essentially boil down to attentive ears that hear their concerns, a warm embrace during tough times, a heart that understands their fears, and a mind that guides their steps.

In this context, the importance of dialogue and listening stands out as two main factors that connect the child and parents. Together, they contribute to creating a healthy educational environment that boosts the child’s self-confidence, develops emotional and social skills, and plants the values that shape the child’s personality in the future.

We met with educational counselor Mahmoud Hajjaj, a professor of child psychiatry, to explain the importance of dialogue and the role of listening, suggest effective methods for both, and clarify obstacles that may arise.

The Importance of Dialogue

Family Dialogue Instills Confidence in the Child’s Heart

Dialogue and listening are not luxuries that can be dispensed with in parenting methods; rather, they are essential for building a strong and lasting relationship between the child and parents. Dialogue enhances confidence, and listening fosters understanding. Together, they help create a healthy family environment in which the child feels safe and a sense of belonging.

Therefore, every family should give their children time and space to express themselves. The relationship built today with children will yield responsible youth tomorrow, capable of facing life’s challenges with confidence and awareness.

When a child feels their voice is heard and has an echo, and that their opinion is valued, their self-confidence and trust in others grow. If they are allowed to freely express their thoughts, even if simple, they become more capable, confident, and calm when facing challenges.

Dialogue also helps develop the child’s communication skills; through it, the child learns how to express their feelings in healthy ways, acquires new vocabulary, and practices organizing their thoughts logically before speaking.

This can only happen in an environment filled with dialogue, making the home the child’s first refuge, and the parents their support throughout life’s stages, where they find a safe space to express fears and dreams.

The Importance of Listening

Listening and Family Dialogue Make the Child Feel Safe

Listening is not just hearing; it is a skill and a quality that require awareness and patience. When a parent listens attentively and carefully to their child, the child feels important and that their thoughts deserve attention, which enhances their feelings of respect, safety, and belonging.

Listening motivates parents to understand the child’s needs more deeply, whether physical, emotional, or psychological. Good listening allows parents to recognize silent emotions that the child may not clearly express, such as fear, anxiety, or anger. With this understanding, parents can provide the right support at the right time in the best possible way for both parties.

Different Approaches to Dialogue

For dialogue to be fruitful, certain methods should be followed:

Use simple and understandable language appropriate to the child’s age and comprehension level; children need clear and straightforward words and concepts that are easy to grasp.
Avoid criticism and blame during conversation to prevent building a barrier between the child and the speaker. This also helps the child avoid fear of expressing feelings next time. Instead, use encouraging phrases.
Encourage the child to express themselves freely, avoid interrupting them while speaking, and show interest in what they say, no matter how simple or seemingly unimportant it may seem from an adult’s perspective.

Effective Listening Methods

Focus fully on the child while they are speaking: this means putting away phones and removing any distractions, and maintaining eye contact so the child feels they are the center of attention.
Avoid interrupting the child and give them enough time to express their thoughts, even if it takes a long time or they repeat ideas. This enhances the child’s confidence.
Show interest through body language, such as nodding, smiling, placing a hand on the shoulder, and using simple words to foster positive communication.

What Interrupts Dialogue and Listening Between the Child and Parents?

Daily life pressures and busy schedules: many parents find themselves overwhelmed by work and household responsibilities, reducing opportunities to talk with their children.
Generation gaps and widening differences due to technology: rapid changes in children’s interests today can create communication difficulties.

Solutions:

Set aside daily time for dialogue with the child, even if brief, such as during dinner or before bedtime. Parents should try to understand and keep up with their child’s interests, learn about the electronic games or videos their child enjoys, and if necessary, learn these themselves to connect better.

Personal Experiences

A Happy Girl with Her Drawing

Samah, a bank employee, shares how dialogue helped her solve a big problem her teenage son faced at school:

“I noticed my son, unusually, became withdrawn and constantly angry; he would flare up and be sensitive to any word. I sat with him and asked why he was angry and sad. At first, he hesitated and refused to talk, but after reassuring him that I wouldn’t scold him, he opened up about being bullied. I called his father to join us, and we listened without interrupting, discussing possible solutions together. This made him feel relieved and helped him regain confidence.”

In another story, Manal, a mother of three, tells how listening inspired her to discover her youngest daughter’s passion for drawing. She noticed the girl drawing a lot while sitting alone in her room and talking. By listening to what she loved, Manal encouraged her to develop her skills and enrolled her in a drawing course, which helped her refine her talent.