Self-Esteem: What It Is and How to Build It

Self-esteem is how a person sees and values themselves—their abilities and personal worth. A person with good self-esteem tends to be more confident, make better decisions, and feel more satisfied with life. However, self-esteem is not innate; it is built and developed over time through practice.

Steps to Build Self-Esteem

  1. Get to Know Yourself
    Understand who you really are by asking:

    • What are my strengths?

    • What makes me unique?

    • What values do I believe in?
      Knowing yourself helps you respect and value who you are.

  2. Talk to Yourself Positively
    Avoid negative self-talk like “I’m a failure” or “I will never succeed.” Instead, practice positive affirmations such as:

    • “I learn from my mistakes.”

    • “I deserve success.”

    • “I have the ability to improve.”

  3. Set Realistic Goals
    Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your accomplishments. This boosts your sense of competence and self-worth. Focus on your progress, not comparisons with others.

  4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
    Your environment influences how you see yourself. Choose friends who encourage and believe in you, and distance yourself from those who belittle or mock you.

  5. Take Care of Your Body and Mind
    Exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get enough sleep. Activities like reading, meditation, and spending time in nature improve your mental state and self-respect.

  6. Forgive Yourself and Accept Your Mistakes
    Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let past errors harm your self-esteem. Learn from them and see them as opportunities to grow. Accept yourself with your strengths and flaws.

Expert Insight: Emmanuel Awad, Psychology Professor

Emmanuel Awad highlights the importance of:

  • Defining Non-Negotiable Values:
    Identify the core principles you will never compromise. These values serve as your personal boundaries and guide your decisions and relationships.

  • Understanding What Builds Your Self-Respect:
    Ask yourself what truly makes you respect yourself. Is it professional success, personal achievements, or the effort you put into your goals? Knowing this helps build a solid foundation for self-esteem.

  • Being Kind to Yourself:
    Avoid harsh self-criticism for small failures or difficulties. Strive for balance—don’t be too lenient, but treat yourself with compassion and understanding.

  • Setting Small, Achievable Goals:
    Breaking big goals into small steps builds confidence and prevents feelings of failure. Small consistent achievements accumulate into significant progress.

Building self-esteem is a continuous journey that requires awareness and patience. Each positive step you take toward understanding and valuing yourself leads to a more balanced and happier life. Remember: you deserve to love and respect yourself just as you are.


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