Many mothers notice that their children are often calm, well-behaved, and obedient when they are with their father. Mothers often take advantage of this time to convince their child to complete tasks quickly or eat their meals without delay. This issue, commonly observed in many homes, stems from various psychological and behavioral factors.
Key Reasons Why Children May Be More Obedient with Their Father
1. Children Are More Natural with the Mother
The mother is often the child's first world, providing warmth and security. Therefore, children feel comfortable expressing their natural emotions with their mothers, whereas they may behave more reservedly and controlled with their father, who may come across as stricter and more disciplined.
2. Over-Indulgence and Spoiling
Mothers might be more inclined to indulge their children, especially when feeling sorry for them or trying to make up for not being as present. Over-indulgence leads to increased stubbornness and resistance, especially when it comes to obeying requests from the mother. Children enjoy challenging their mothers, knowing they are less likely to impose strict consequences compared to their fathers.
3. Mothers Are More Exhausted
Mothers often bear the brunt of childcare, housework, and managing multiple tasks simultaneously, which leads to fatigue. This fatigue may make them less patient, and sometimes, they might give in to the child's demands to avoid conflict. Children may take advantage of this, knowing their mother may be too tired to enforce boundaries.
4. The Father's Shorter Time at Home
The father typically spends less time at home compared to the mother, often due to work commitments. When he does return, he may be tired and in need of rest. The child, viewing the father as a "visitor" who is not always present, may act more polite and controlled to make a good impression. On the other hand, because mothers are around more often, children might test limits more frequently with them.
5. Mothers Are More Detail-Oriented, Fathers Are More General
Mothers tend to be more involved in the small details of their children's lives, focusing on the reasons behind behaviors and addressing them thoroughly. Fathers, however, tend to take a more general approach, seeking quick solutions to problems without getting too involved in the minutiae. This difference in approach can sometimes lead to the mother being more attentive, while the father may prefer to resolve conflicts without dwelling on the details.
6. Father's Strictness vs. Mother's Flexibility
Fathers tend to set clear and firm boundaries with their children, creating a structured environment. Children know the rules are non-negotiable with their fathers, whereas with mothers, they may perceive more leniency and kindness, which they can use to their advantage. Children might also exploit their mother’s emotional responses to get what they want.
What Can Mothers Do?
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Avoid Over-Indulgence: Mothers should avoid spoiling their children, as excessive indulgence can foster stubbornness.
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Set Boundaries: Both parents need to maintain consistent rules and avoid contradictory commands.
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Practice Patience: Despite the exhaustion, mothers should try to remain patient and consistent in their discipline.
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Collaborate with the Father: It’s crucial for both parents to agree on a unified approach to parenting and discipline.
In conclusion, for effective parenting, mothers and fathers should work together to create a balanced and consistent approach to raising their children. By setting clear expectations and maintaining a cooperative parenting strategy, both parents can help their children grow with respect and discipline.
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