Friendships During Adolescence: How Mothers Can Support Their Daughters

During adolescence, friendships become more prominent and influential in a daughter’s life. Teenagers spend a lot of time with peers, sharing conversations, activities, and daily experiences. According to educational experts and psychologists, peer relationships directly impact adolescents’ self-perception and behavior.

This often leads mothers to wonder: Who are my daughter’s friends? Do they support her? Or do they influence her in ways that might not be positive? Dr. Mahmoud Suleiman, a psychology consultant, provides insights on how mothers can ask subtle questions to assess the positivity of their daughter’s friendships and offer gentle guidance, along with practical recommendations for handling these relationships wisely and discreetly.

Understanding True Friendship

Friendship is a social and emotional bond built on affection, trust, respect, and honesty. True friendships involve:

• Mutual care and support

• Understanding and cooperation during both good and challenging times

• Continuity beyond daily interactions

Friendships in adolescence are not just for fun—they reflect the daughter’s personality and development. A mother who thoughtfully observes and asks indirect questions can help guide her daughter toward friends who encourage academic focus and healthy habits, rather than distractions.

Core Elements of Friendship

• Sharing positive emotions and mutual appreciation

• Feeling secure and able to trust the other person

• Commitment to honesty

• Supporting each other in various situations

• Understanding each other’s needs and emotions and communicating clearly

Practical Conversation Guides for Mothers

1. Encouraging Academic and Physical Activities

Ask indirect questions to understand if her friends motivate her toward constructive activities:

• “What plans have you and your friends made for activities next week?”

• “Have you thought about exercising or visiting the library together?”

• “Do you enjoy studying together or just hanging out for fun?”

• “How do you feel when a day passes without studying or exercising? Would you like to change that?”

Research shows that peers who value academics and constructive activities promote better outcomes for adolescents.

2. Curiosity and Learning New Skills

Good friendships can spark curiosity and the desire to learn new skills like programming, drawing, music, or reading. Subtle questions mothers can ask:

• “Have you and your friends thought about learning something new together?”

• “What’s the last new idea your friend inspired you to try?”

• “Would you like to learn something with your friend, even for half an hour a week?”

Positive peers encourage intellectual curiosity, while disengaged friends may hinder it.

3. Values and Spending Habits

Friendships influence daily choices and attitudes toward money:

• “Do your friends encourage buying things you don’t need, or do they value simplicity?”

• “When you go out together, do you think about what you spend, or is it just for fun?”

Friends with balanced values promote moderation and practical habits, while peers focused on materialism may create pressure or insecurity.

4. Emotional Support and Social Balance

Mothers can ask:

• “Do you feel comfortable with your friends? Is there understanding and support or constant conflict?”

• “When you have a tough day, do you turn to your friends? Does it help you feel better?”

Supportive friendships reduce anxiety and stress, while stressful friendships increase frustration and lower self-confidence. Encourage dialogue without criticism:

• “How about organizing a relaxing day with your friends, without phones or pressure?”

This promotes awareness and balance without feeling intrusive.

Recommendations for Mothers

• Listen more than you speak: Give your daughter space to express herself freely.

• Ask indirect questions: Instead of asking, “Are your friends good for you?” try, “What do you like most about your friendships?”

• Join in activities: Suggest shared activities with her friends like sports or volunteering.

• Focus on quality, not quantity: The value of friendships matters more than the number of friends.

• Gently intervene when necessary: If negative changes appear in her mood or academics, talk calmly without blame.

• Be a role model: Mothers who maintain healthy and balanced friendships teach by example.

This approach helps mothers support their daughters’ social development, encourage positive influence from peers, and foster emotional intelligence without imposing control.