Why Do Problems Increase Before Marriage?

Marriage is considered one of the most sacred bonds of life. It represents a permanent and binding partnership between a man and a woman, built on love, understanding, and shared responsibility, with the goal of establishing a successful family. However, many young couples face challenges before marriage, which may either lead them to withdraw and delay marriage, or proceed without a solid foundation. If not addressed properly, these issues can harm the relationship.

In an interview with Sayidaty, family relationship expert Abeer Al-Drini explains why problems often arise before marriage.

Marriage Requires Sacrifice and Understanding

Marriage is not just a traditional contract but a sacred partnership, a divine institution founded on affection, mercy, and support. It requires commitment, wisdom, patience, and the ability to embrace one’s partner under all circumstances. Pre-marital problems can arise for various reasons, including differences in perspectives, financial and emotional pressures, family interference, future uncertainties, and the psychological and physical stress of this transitional stage.

Common Causes of Pre-Marriage Problems

1. Differences in Cultures, Lifestyles, and Traditions

Each partner comes from a different environment with unique customs, values, and views on marriage, money, and family. These differences can lead to conflicts in daily life, family expectations, and social pressures. While such differences may cause tension, they can also enrich the relationship if handled with awareness, respect, and open-mindedness.

2. The Stress of Wedding Preparations

The transition from single life to shared life involves financial, emotional, and logistical responsibilities. Preparing for marriage can create significant stress, anxiety, and misunderstandings, which sometimes lead to mistrust and conflicts.

3. Family and Friends’ Interference

Excessive interference from parents or friends often undermines trust between partners and reduces their independence. One partner may feel pressured to please their family at the expense of their own needs, turning minor disagreements into serious issues.

4. Unrealistic Expectations and Fears

Unrealistic views of marriage—often shaped by romanticized media or social comparisons—create false expectations. When reality does not match these ideals, disappointment and frustration arise, leading to conflicts and reduced marital satisfaction.

5. Mental and Physical Health Issues

Past traumas, psychological struggles, or chronic health problems may affect an individual’s ability to form a stable relationship. If not openly discussed, these challenges can cause emotional distance, depression, and anxiety, undermining the relationship’s foundation.

6. Lack of Effective Communication

Poor communication skills may lead to frequent misunderstandings, emotional distance, and unresolved conflicts. Without healthy dialogue, resentment builds, making it difficult to establish a strong and lasting marriage.

7. Hiding Flaws During Engagement

Many people try to present only their best selves before marriage. When hidden flaws eventually appear, trust may break down, leading to painful arguments or even separation.

8. Financial Disagreements

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict. Differing priorities regarding budgeting, saving, and spending often cause friction if not discussed transparently before marriage.

9. Pre-Marriage Anxiety and Fear of Commitment

Some individuals experience “marriage phobia,” marked by extreme anxiety, physical symptoms (such as heart palpitations), and emotional stress. This fear may stem from past failed relationships or fear of responsibility.

10. Attachment Style Issues

Early childhood attachment patterns can influence adult relationships. Fear of abandonment, excessive need for independence, or emotional withdrawal may create unstable and unhealthy dynamics, increasing the risk of conflict or failed marriages.

✨ In conclusion: Pre-marital problems are common and often stem from cultural differences, stress, family interference, unrealistic expectations, or communication gaps. Addressing them with honesty, respect, and mutual understanding is key to building a strong foundation for a happy marriage.