Handling Exam Failure with Compassion: A Mother’s Experience and Expert Advice

Exam day often brings honor or disappointment. Failing can deeply affect children or teens during summer break, filling homes with sadness and punishment, while others celebrate success. However, failure isn’t the end — it’s a stepping stone toward learning and growth. Calm dialogue and mutual understanding are crucial to help teens grasp the value of effort, set new goals, and build resilience.

A Mother’s Story:

• Self-reflection first: Before talking to her son “Hussam,” a 10th grader who failed, the mother asked herself tough questions: Were her expectations realistic? Had they pressured him unintentionally? Was his academic path the right fit?

• Open, calm communication: She talked to Hussam without anger, creating space for him to admit mistakes and express feelings. She reassured him, “I love you whether you pass or fail.” Sharing her own failures helped normalize his experience.

• Understanding the struggle: Through questions, they identified issues: poor time management, exam anxiety, and lack of effective study methods.

• Creating a practical plan: Together with his father, they made a flexible study schedule, sought teacher support, celebrated small achievements, and explored his real interests (tech and programming rather than only theoretical subjects).

• Outcome: The experience became a turning point, strengthening their bond and teaching Hussam that success is about rising after falling.

Expert Tips from Dr. Ikram Al-Adl:

• Listen actively and reassure your child of your unconditional love.

• Avoid blame and punishment; instead, offer emotional and academic support.

• Consider tutoring or learning programs to address academic gaps.

• Celebrate every progress, however small, to build confidence.

• Encourage your child to develop their strengths and set achievable goals.

• Be patient, stay calm, and involve your child in planning their educational path.

• If needed, seek professional help for psychological support.

• Avoid labeling or comparing your child with others.

• Changing schools or curricula may help if the current path doesn’t suit the child.