Parents often feel frustrated when their children don’t seem to listen and instead act stubbornly. One reason for this is that children want to be heard and have their opinions valued first. Additionally, children sometimes respond back because they struggle to understand the message being conveyed. This can also happen if parents’ instructions or way of communicating are too complicated or inconsistent.
Sometimes, this behavior stems from a child’s social development not being fully optimal in early childhood. Some children may misbehave on purpose to see their parents’ reaction or to seek attention. Therefore, parents need to make various efforts to encourage obedience. According to the website Raising Children, here are some tips that can help make your child more obedient.
Listen to Your Child First
Children between 6 and 9 years old start to focus more on the outside world—school, friends, and play—and may pay less attention to what parents say. Parents often don’t fully understand what children face outside the home, which makes it hard to empathize. So before forcing your child to listen to you, try getting closer to them by first listening to their complaints and feelings.
Avoid Yelling
Try to avoid yelling or raising your voice when giving instructions. Instead, gently advise your child and invite them to sit down, relax, and talk about what’s bothering them. Listen attentively and calmly explain how you feel when they refuse to listen, and share how happy you are when they follow your advice.
Respect Your Child’s Wishes
Children around 7 to 8 years old start to realize they control themselves, including whether or not to listen to their parents. One effective way to encourage listening is by first acknowledging their wishes. This makes children feel appreciated and trusted, which increases their interest in what you say.
Children find it easier to listen when parents genuinely listen to their thoughts and feelings first.
Give Clear Instructions
Another important way to make children listen is to give clear, simple instructions without raising your voice. Use the right methods to advise your child, ensuring they actually hear and understand you. If you think they aren’t listening, ask them to repeat what you said to confirm understanding. Also, encourage them to ask questions or share anything they want to say. The goal is for children to express themselves freely.
Avoid discussing many topics at once, as this can confuse children and lead to negative reactions. Be specific in your questions and use simple words, asking one question at a time.
Understand Why Your Child Isn’t Listening
Before trying different ways to get children to obey, it’s best to understand why they might not want to listen or why they ignore complaints.
Often, children hesitate to listen because they aren’t interested in what you’re saying, or because they disagree but don’t feel comfortable expressing it. For example, if you ask your child to lend a toy to a younger sibling or friend, your child might pretend not to hear. This doesn’t mean they’re ignoring you on purpose, but rather that they find it hard to comply.
Clarify the Reasons Behind Your Requests
Children may resist obeying because they don’t understand why you’re asking them to do something. One way to encourage listening is to explain the reason or purpose behind your instructions.
For example, if you ask your child to stop playing games, explain reasons they can understand, such as needing to rest or do homework.
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