It's not uncommon for children to come home from school feeling sad or crying due to loneliness or being bullied by a classmate. Meanwhile, their sibling might be enjoying time with a supportive friend. These situations are often part of a reality that mothers and children face, especially during the early school years. That's why it's essential to teach children—especially those between the ages of 7 and 12—how to choose a good friend.
Friendship is an integral part of a child's development and identity. When a child learns how to choose friends wisely, they lay the foundation for healthy and lasting relationships in the future. As the saying goes, "Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are." Teaching children how to choose friends should be a priority to ensure a secure and positive future.
Friendship is one of the most significant factors that influence a child's emotional and social development. According to UNICEF, more than 30% of children worldwide experience harm and bullying, often due to unhealthy friendships. To dive deeper into this topic, "nadormagazine and Your Child" spoke with Dr. Noha Hamed El-Shafei, an expert in child psychology and education, to discuss how to guide children toward making healthy friendship choices.
Positive Traits in Friendship
Children should be taught to seek friends who possess the following qualities:
- Loyalty: A true friend stands by you during difficult times.
- Empathy: The ability to understand and support the feelings of others.
- Self-control: Avoid friends who act impulsively or with a quick temper.
- Wisdom: Thinking before making decisions.
- Respect: Accepting differences and respecting values and beliefs.
A study from Harvard University shows that children with supportive friendships are 50% less likely to experience anxiety and depression later in life. These positive qualities in friendships help children build healthy, lasting relationships, boosting their self-confidence and ability to deal with life's challenges.
When Should Your Child Distance Themselves from a Friend? Understanding Value Differences
Recognizing negative behaviors in friendships is crucial. Some warning signs include:
- Bullying: When a friend mocks or controls another.
- Aggressive behavior: Such as violence or causing trouble.
- Exploitation: Whether it's emotional or material.
- Unhealthy competition: A friend who constantly tries to outdo others in unethical ways.
- Chronic dishonesty: A lack of trustworthiness that harms the friendship.
The Importance of Setting Boundaries in Friendships
Teaching children how to set boundaries is essential for maintaining emotional balance and mental health. Boundaries should include:
- The ability to say "no" when they feel uncomfortable.
- Respecting personal space and privacy in relationships.
- Not allowing emotional or physical abuse.
When children understand the importance of boundaries, they are better able to interact with others respectfully and confidently. These boundaries help children protect themselves from harmful relationships and foster the development of healthy connections.
Encouraging Diversity and Tolerance in Friendships
Encouraging children to build friendships with peers from different backgrounds and cultures helps them become more adaptable and socially skilled. This diversity boosts empathy and acceptance of differences, which are important values for fostering inclusive and supportive relationships.
The United Nations Women reports that peer influence plays a significant role in shaping a child's self-esteem and decision-making skills, especially among girls. It's crucial to guide children to choose friends who support and uplift them rather than those who pressure them into unhealthy behaviors.
Warning Signs of Harmful Friendships
There are several indicators that a friendship may be detrimental to a child’s well-being, including:
- A sudden change in behavior, such as isolation or unexplained anger.
- Reluctance to share details about a friend.
- Negative effects on academic performance due to spending too much time with a particular friend.
- Encouragement of bad habits, such as lying or cheating.
- A lack of mutual respect, where the friend manipulates or exploits the child.
Parents as Role Models
Children learn a great deal from their parents. If you want your child to learn how to choose friends wisely, it’s important to model good friendship choices yourself.
- Share your own positive and negative experiences with friendship.
- Be an attentive listener so that your child feels comfortable discussing their feelings and experiences.
- Encourage your child to engage in various social activities to expand their circle of friends.
Tips to Enhance Social Skills
- Active listening: Teach children the importance of listening to others without interrupting.
- Expressing feelings: Encourage children to express their emotions clearly and honestly.
- Conflict resolution: Teach children how to handle disagreements constructively and peacefully.
- Collaboration: Encourage children to work together with others to achieve common goals.
- Shared activities: Encourage children to participate in activities that interest them, such as:
- Sports: Joining sports teams helps children develop new friendships.
- Arts and crafts: Participating in art workshops is a great way to meet new friends.
- School activities: Joining clubs or groups at school can help expand their social network.
Building Self-Confidence
When children feel confident in themselves, they are better equipped to choose good friends and navigate challenges in their relationships. Encourage your child to:
- Set personal goals and work towards achieving them.
- Offer continuous support and encouragement.
- Teach them how to handle failure and criticism in a constructive manner.
Parents should also stay informed about their children’s relationships:
- Regularly talk to your child about their friends.
- Observe any changes in their behavior.
- Step in when necessary to protect your child from harmful friendships.
By teaching children the right skills for building friendships, setting boundaries, and navigating social challenges, parents can help ensure their children develop healthy, supportive relationships that will last a lifetime.
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