Some behaviors may seem normal to us, even when interacting with others, but when it comes to our children, these actions can have negative consequences that harm our relationship with them and affect their mental well-being. For a child, many times, a mother may unknowingly make parenting mistakes that she believes are simple actions, but these actions can lead her to feel like a "failed" parent and cause long-term harm to the child, especially as they grow older.
Mothers may act automatically, especially when they feel tired or overwhelmed by the responsibility of taking care of children. As a result, they may not realize that there are certain behaviors they need to stop doing because they can negatively affect the child's upbringing. In a special conversation with "nadormagazine and Your Child," educational consultant Aref Abdullah highlighted five common behaviors that seem harmless but can lead to poor parenting results. These behaviors include letting the child decide when to sleep, punishing them without listening, and three other important actions:
1. Immediate Punishment of the Child
Stop punishing your child the moment they make a mistake or when you think they've done something wrong. Young children love to explore, and exploration often leads to mistakes. You should expect this. Also, during the first three years, children are primarily interested in playing, so they should not be punished harshly through methods like hitting or shouting. It is essential to understand the correct way to discipline your child based on their age. For example, the method of punishment for a child under three years old differs from the method for children aged three to four. For children under three, ignoring their cries can be effective, while for children over five, they need to understand why they are being punished, and you should explain their mistake.
2. Letting the Child Decide Their Bedtime
Avoid letting your child decide when they want to sleep. If you leave the timing of their sleep up to them, it can lead to poor habits and a lack of discipline. This also sends the message that you, as a parent, are unable to manage the household with wisdom and structure. A set bedtime is essential for the child’s health, development, and well-being. Children need at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep every night to support their physical and mental growth.
3. Allowing the Child to Play on Phones and Watch TV for Long Periods
Avoid allowing your child to spend long hours on electronic devices, such as tablets or smartphones. Excessive screen time can lead to behavioral, psychological, and health problems. There is growing concern about the link between early exposure to electronics and issues like autism, ADHD, and other developmental disorders. It's important to establish a family schedule for electronic device use, limiting screen time and encouraging physical activity and family time without devices.
4. Scolding the Child for Getting Their Clothes Dirty While Playing
Allow your child to play outside, even if it means getting their clothes dirty with sand or mud. Scolding them for this behavior can hinder their development. Playing in the dirt is not only fun but also essential for developing sensory skills and fine motor abilities. Additionally, playing outside in nature helps improve the child’s physical health, creativity, and immune system. Instead of punishing them for getting dirty, provide them with clothes suitable for play outside, and let them enjoy the benefits of outdoor activities.
5. Lack of Communication Between Parents and Children
Establish a daily dialogue with your child, even from a very young age. It’s essential to talk to your child and listen to them, as this fosters emotional development and builds a strong bond between parent and child. Lack of communication can lead to psychological issues in the future. Engage in meaningful conversations, encourage their opinions, and avoid interrogating them. Make them feel heard and valued, and don’t dismiss their thoughts or feelings.
By being mindful of these everyday behaviors, you can foster a healthier, more supportive relationship with your child and help them grow in a positive, nurturing environment.
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